who are we

*preface...I moved this blog to myspace in an effort to feel more like me, but myspace lost it AGAIN. so here go...
who are we when we dream? are we ourselves in situations we need to figure out in real life, but the situations are presented in an abstract dreamy manner? or are we just floating through some imaginary world, whos impact has no bearing on reality? There are hundreds of other hypotheses...I think if anything, its the former. my dreams have changed since I've moved here..I used to have a lot of 'chasing' dreams, where it was either that I was being chased, or that I was suppossed to figure something out by looking at it, but for some reason whatever I was trying to look at was blocked. Anyways, they are different. I can't tell you how though. It could be lthat in my dreams, I'm just looking at everything with a veil of unemotion, like nothing matters and whatever goes on is just part of the pathetic story we choose to live day by day. I dislike the monotony we are forced to live under. I dont know how I am going to avoid it, but somehow i'm going to live my life like every day is a new adventure..I think maybe I live that way now, sort of. I guess it is, you never know what's going to happen. Maybe the change in mindset is due to the lack of stress this clinic thing puts us through. I was so stressed out for the past couple of years that I came to depend on friends for moral support and likewise I would help them through so we all would stay sane. now, with nothing to really go through, its just kind of boring, and I dont feel like I'm needed or that I need anybody else for anything in particular. I'm sure the stress will start right up again when I start out in practice (either associating or starting my own practice..) hmm stress or no stress, I'm way sick of school. I want to start making money, not living off what i'm goign to make in the future. speakig of which, I am very poor, from paying more expensive rent to paying for boards (which i think I'm going to ask for financial aid, no sense being a hero) ugh it just all adds up, I prefer to just not think a bout finances and hope that they will take care of themselves, but occasionally I have to do something about it. bleh. anyways, thanks for reading