hot

I was looking online for pumpkin patches/apple farms/good ol' fashioned fall fun in the area, and found one pumpkin patch that offered services for 'weddings/wedding parties' I thought that was kind of interesting, getting hitched in the middle of a pumpkin patch. I dunno, maybe they have a scenic part of the farm that is appropriate for that kind of hubbub, who knows. Anyways just thought that was cool. yo.

teh future

I know things have never not worked out for me, but its a little frustrating to be in this odd limbo position. I dont have a job lined up, which is very frustrating. I have some interviews and stuff, but nothing to hang my hat on. It seems that in every other industry, people look for employees like 6 months before said employees graduate. Not in chiropractic though, I've gotten lots of 'we're looking to fill the position immediately, contact us when you'er graduated..' it is frustrating to say the least. I just want to know where I"m headed, is that so hard? ugh. that being said, I know I'll find a job and be wildly successful, its just the interim, the waiting is what kills you...tick tock tick tock..I dont want to be another doctor's bitch (aka associate) I really want to do my own thing, but that requires getting a loan to buy an existing practice..which means coming up with money for a downpayment. I've asked my parents, they have yet to get back to me, it makes me very anxious. bleh.

gotta love history

so I was just reading some wiki article about a war they had back in the day when they were settling maine. Here is an excerpt I found entertaining...

A year passed when cattle, frightened and some wounded, suddenly ran into the town from their pastures. It was a recognized sign that a Native American attack was imminent, so residents sought refuge. On June 10, 1692, a force of 400 Native Americans and some French troops commanded by La Brognerie marched into Wells, knowing that Converse would be in Storer's garrison. But with a 15 soldier militia and an approximate number of townsfolk, Converse resisted assaults during a 2-3 day siege. The attackers alternated between attacks on the village and the narrow harbor, where Captain Samuel Storer, James Gooch and 14 soldiers, sent as reinforcements, were aboard 2 sloops and a shallop. Native Americans shot flaming arrows onto the boats, but the crews extinguished the fires. The attackers fastened a wall of vertical planks to the back of a cart, then pushed it toward the vessels at low tide. La Brognerie and 26 French and Native Americans huddled behind the shield, but the cart got stuck in mudflats within 50 feet of the nearest boat. When La Brognerie struggled to lift the wheel, he was shot through the head. The remainder ran, some dropping in the hail of bullets. Next they towed downstream a raft of about 18-20 feet square and covered with combustible material, expecting the ebbing tide to carry it ablaze to the boats. But the wind shifted and the raft drifted to the opposite shore.
Running out of ammunition, the attackers retreated, although not before burning the church and a few empty houses, shooting all the cattle they could find, and torturing to death John Diamond, who had been captured at the outset trying to escape the boats for the fort. They left behind some of their dead, including La Brognerie. The victory of so few against so many brought Converse fame and advancement. A granite monument in Storer Park now marks the site of Lieutenant Storer's garrison.

stupid french couldn't take the boats down. OK, let's set the boat on fire! oh. they put the fire out. durrr let's take a wagon with some planks attached and get it during low tide. oh, that's muddy. OK, how about this guys..let's get a raft and float out to them. Oh, we're floating the other way. that sucks. well, let's just shoot these cows and torture this guy, and go find some munchies, I'm hungry. ok.

change is...

very stressful. It seems everything I have had as a safety net has suddenly just kind of dropped off, I'm on a high wire with nothing to catch me, and there's a wind coming up...
I spent a few hours in the office of the chiro that might hire me in the buffalo area. it was chaos, to say the least. he stated himself that 'hes more concerned with getting patients in then with organization..' and it showed. if i were to work with him, i would need to get that place organized, for my own sanity. To his defense, he did say that he's learned that organization is a good thing, he just needs to get some more of it. The office staff was nice, they all called me 'dr hart' which was cute. hah. Theres some other stuff in my life that I guess has caused me stress, stuff I'd rather not mention in a public blog. It all has just kind of snowballed, and is making me a little crazy right about now. it will be better once graduation rolls around and I've got a good job under my belt. This too shall pass, right?

nighttime

I dont know why, but consciousness seems altered in the night. when you're sleeping, or after you awake from sleeping, you just seem to be in a different world. a world where, instead of reality, some weird alternate universe has taken over, and you don't really have control. At least I dont. I have a lot of dreams where something important is happening, but for some reason I can't clearly see what, and therefore can't react to whatever is going on. I guess that's a reflection of real life, a lot of times I feel like an outsider looking in on the happenings of everybody else. I wonder where we really go when we dream. Is it just some altered brain wave pattern, that sends us to places of our brain where we hide our feelings and deepest fears? Or is it an actual location, our consciousness actually GOES somewhere, and we come back when our body tells us we need to wake up. Sometimes I'll wake up at night and continue in that altered state, missing people i shouldn't, thinking things that are not what how I normally perceive the world. I feel like i've been a little depressed lately, it could be the uncertainty of the coming months. I hate change, I like things to just stay the way they are. At the same time though, I like change, I almost crave it. Strange dichotomy. anyways, those are my thoughts for the AM.

oh yeah, my blog

I totally forgot about this thing. hah. I dont have a whole lot going on that I'm gonna talk about in here (I have another blog I have for my friends back home, its good to get some third person perspective sometimes) things are going good at school, done in a few months (!!) Staying in the buffalo area for teh time being, kevin has a good job here, and i think i found one that will (barely) pay the bills. A chiro around here is expanding into the southtowns, and wants an associate to help that situation out. It will be good for me, due to his wanting me to network with area doctors, he works a lot with neurologists for post-op treatment. That should be interesting, I am looking forward to expanding my horizons. We have also been looking at apartments, probably nearby where I live now, which would be halfway between his work and my work, give or take a few minutes on either side. i'm not thrilled at the idea of staying around here, my mom was sad when I told her I was staying here for a while. They definitely miss having their kids around, but there's just not a lot of opportunity for young peeps in maine, especially not computer jobs..there are some in the portland area, but thats still 3 hours away from home. It's also expensive to live there, versus what you can make. There are a lot of problems with the state, but also a lot of good points. People are real there, its not this facade of trying to be what you think others want you to be. I've had conversations before about this with emily, with 'real' mainers (Not transplants from other states) you kind of have to dress down (t-shirts or flannel and jeans)...if you dress up (not necessarily professionally, but if you wear 'sexy clothing') the other mainers wonder what your problem is. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal, although not those stupid looney toons t-shirts, I always hated those. Anyways, I feel like graduation will be very anti-climatic, I've been to them before, and its just kind of like 'oh.' I have never been a fan of pomp and circumstance, although I do like the song. I also dont like large throngs of annoying people, which ceremonies inevitably are..I liked the BPS graduation, it was a luncheon and they called us one by one and we got our diplomas that way. nice and relaxed, no retarded speeches, although I think nicchi did have to get his two cents in. Oh well, such is the case for diplomats. Kevin and a secret shopper job at a chain restaurant last night, it was kind of gross. The way america eats is so unhealthy, we usually eat a lot of rice and vegetables, this meal kept me up half the night and kind of made me very inflammed-feeling. I think we might skip those jobs next time around, even if it is free food. bleh. oh, and its weird how a lot of people I know had kids this summer. I've heard we're in a mini baby boom, but this is rediculous...anyways. thanks for not reading this, there is no notification email sent out, so everybodys forgotten about my new blog. which is okay, I dont like the pressure of having everybody check what i write as soon as i like it. maybe after this is old news, someone might think to check it, but by that time it will be too late! haha

well well

its one thing to not be upset by a situation any more...I've been doing that for a good 8 months now. But truly accepting the reality of something takes a little more time. To truly be emotionally free from a bad time in your life takes a lot more. That time, I think, has come for me. I just dont give a crap one way or another. I could fake-say before that I 'didn't care'...but deep down, I know I was still bothered. Life is so much better now, I'm happy with everything about whats going on right now. I'd like to be in maine, but thats about it. I am so happy with kevin, he makes my days brighter. I know, sappy shit, but its true. I couldn't imagine myself with anybody else. I'm excited to get a place with him after school is over, moving in with someone is a big step, something i dont take likely. We've never had a fight, we're both too laid back and happy to let that happen. I can tell he feels the same way about me, I see it when he looks at me when he thinks I dont know he's doing it ;) Just happy to have found someone to grow old with, i spose..

times

So we had a pretty bad thunderstorm here tonight, it didn't really rain so much here as it was thundering a few miles away, which I guess hit a powerline or transfer station or whatever lightning hits..anyways our power went out for 2ish hours...funny how an event like that sends you back into the dark ages. Get out your flashlights, start to actually talk to people again...we get so wrapped up in our individual little existences that we dont think to include others, only when its convenient to us (aka no other choice, tv, internet, stoves dont work, nothing else to do but actually communicate...pch) anyways as I sat waiting for the power to come on, I decided to break open one of the books I got from the library today. The Grapes of Wrath. I got through the first three chapters, I can tell already it will be a good read. He's really good with words, they kind of just flow and ebb like the way a really good public speaker weaves his words. Anyways I wanted to read more, but one can only read so much before one needs a break. I also got out a 'learn spanish' CD set, I decided since clinic was such a waste of time I might as well set out to do some other worthwhile endeavors. Between french and spanish, I decided that more of the world speaks spanish, and most places where you would encounter french you could get away with speaking english (french canada, france) plus i've got 2 years of HS spanish under my belt, that stuff comes back if you give it a chance. So I did the first CD today, its a cool way of learning. Instead of studying it like they make you do in HS, its more of a fluency builder, you just kind of repeat whatever the person on the tape says, it goes through syntax and stuff like that, but in a way that makes sense. I guess the thing to do nowadays is to retire in central america, where houses are much cheaper. I could attest to that, just doing some casual searches of southern maine makes me not impressed at the current prices..although I think that part of the country is still in a bit of a housing bubble, and its always been expensive to live in southern maine. I dunno. Anyways, insert some witty comment about how difficult times bring us closer together, blah blah blah. I like that nobody reads this anymore, it being on some random website that people dont get notifiecation when I post something, I just felt like a very annoying entity in people's mailboxes. OK, its bedtime i reckon..the AC is buzzing and the lights are at my disposal..

my problem

I always have to analyze and re-analyze things...on one hand, I like maine and the lifestyle it offers...on the other hand, after looking at some research online and thinking about the differences in locale, it makes me think twice about moving back. The job market there is less than ideal, I dont know why, but its a really bad state for businesses. It might have to do with high taxes and high property values, I dont know...its ranked 48 out of 50 as far as states to do business in. So theres that..however, reimbursement for chiropractors is really good in the state, which is awesome. I think most chiros in the state work half days and make 6 figures. Its just annoying to live in a place thats regarded as a vacation spot, out-of-staters are clogging the roads and just make for a slightly annoying summer. bleh, I dont know. I have a few months to decide what I want to do. I have a probable job offer in NH, but reimbursement isn't as good there. what to do, what to do...

babies

it seems like its the thing to do nowadays, pop a few kids out. I read that we are in the midst of a baby boom, I guess the last time there were this many kids poppin' out was in the 50s. I think they referred to it as a 'boomlet'. One girl I know in college just had a kid...didn't say much to anybody, she just posted pics of her kid on facebook a few weeks ago. surprise! I popped one out! I think she is engaged to the guy which might have been part of the reason she kept it hush. She was weird anyways, a nice girl but she was just a little...off...I guess if I got knocked up I wouldn't like announce it to the world, its kind of a personal thing. God, if I was pregnant, I would hate the whole 'coming up and rubbing the belly' crap, that wouldn't happen on my watch. no way. anyways, this whole baby thing is an interesting trend, if nothign else it will stimulate the economy by way of people buying stuff for their brats. awesome. ugh my kitchen is a mess, I need to clean it.

the past..

I dont think its enough to just block out what's happened in the past. It's good for a little while, but eventually untied ends trip you up. Resolution is the only way to move forward. It's painful though. having no reaction to it is the ultimate goal, I try to bite the bullet, but it's still a hard thing for me to do. Current situations make it easier, kevin is a wonderful person and he makes life so much more fun and exciting, I dont know what I would have done if i didn't meet him. Anyways, I just keep telling myself things have turned out for the best, dont look back. I can't help but peek every once in a while though, hoping for that indifferent feeling. It hasn't come yet

back to the beginning?

hm that saying was from marching band like 8 years ago. anyways, I woke up with the familiar feeling of being in a mobius strip...I get up, go to clinic, come home and do stuff, go to sign out of clinic, and then do not much of nothing in the evenings...I need to spice things up! Maine was good for the 4th, we got to putz around up there, but now here I am, back in my own personal prison. I dont know how I'm goign to manage being at the same practice for 30 years, I see myself as getting quite antsy in that situation. Maybe I'll flip practices, like dr hillenbrand's brother in law (I think) I overheard him talking to somebody about how he will buy failing practices and build them up, then sell them for a profit. Interesting idea. or maybe I"ll build my own practice up, then become the leader or whatever and hire other chiros to work for me, and build more offices and build up an empire. sure, sounds good. empire it is. Kevin and I are (tentatively) goign hiking this weekend, to a national forest by allegheny, should be good times. in other news, I think I need new tires, or at least to get the ones i have rotated. The car shimmys at 60, then stops at 70. I just hate the hassle of having to go somewhere and having it done..plus kevin works all day now, so I would have to go in by myself and they will try to swindle me into buying 4 new tires blah blah blah oh well i"m a strong independent woman, I can probably figure this out by myself..maybe?

studying...

is SO not happening for me. I hate powerpoint with a passion. Ugh, this is hopefully one of the last tests, I dont think they give the midterm to 10th tris. I hope not.

addendum

I also hate the word 'fiancee' its pretentious and lame. and it doesn't even mean anything. just some stupid frenchie word someone made up to sound classy, or some crap like that. Its like 'oh I'm goign to be married, but I'm not yet' either you are or you aren't, nobody cares about the in-between. At least I dont

nicely put

I stumbled on a website that was basically a blog about weddings. about how when someone gets engaged the first thing girls say is 'OMG WHERE IS THE RING' like getting an engagement ring is the initiation rite into girl-dom...'yup girls, I finally suckered a poor hapless sap to walk down the aisle with me...' shouldn't the focus be on the couple, and not on the materialistic object that society has determined is the focus of this whole shindig? If I ever get engaged/married/whatever, I dont want a stupid diamond. The have no color. Give me something pretty and blue, with a little bit of color. and nothing too expensive either, I'd be afraid of losing it. my mom gave me a 300 ring for my 18th birthday, I'm scared to wear it though cuz I dont want to lose it. also, shortly after my mom bought the ring, the place she bought it from was shut down for money laundering...in podunk bangor maine...so its kind of cool that way too. anyways, marriage is about the people, not about how much you spend, where you have it, or any of that crap. Like how people put pictures of their engagement rings on facebook...how about a picture of your fiancee?? Stupid.

sorrow

I was flipping through the tv last night, and came across a show about children who are sensitive to ghosts/spirits/whatnot..and about how they can sense the emotions of the spirits, and kind of take the emotions on themselves. I occasionally will start to feel this great emotion of sadness, for no apparent reason. It has been coming on today, but I've been listening to ray lamontagne, who I have listened to a lot the past few years. i guess it could be my own misery I am reliving, opportunities missed weigh heavily on my heart at times. Perhaps it is a combination of the two, my own misery as well as the feelings of others, either regarding this matter or another. I dont reckon I'll ever really know the truth, but it weighs heavily on me nontheless

wtf

yesterday was a very awkward day, we went to joanne fabrics to get something cheesecloth-like for making soups, I didn't know they would had it so I described to the lady how I wanted something 'course and undyed' so she brought over this thick cloth. I had never seen cheesecloth before, so I figured that would be good. Then she asked what I was going to be using the cloth before. I replied 'straining soups' and then she was all 'OOH HONEY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK FOR CHEESECLOTH' and then ran over and got cheesecloth...right off the shelf...I felt like an idiot. We went to the 'taste of alden' festival, which was fun-o, too much greasy food...then I sent a random email to the chambers of commerce in some maine cities about how they should have 'taste of' festivals, I got one back today about how there's one held in waterville, and since its 40 minutes away they 'dont want to compete' with the festival..stupid. If anything, it would draw more people to the waterville event, because they would know it was going on. whatever. Oh and then some d-bag messaged me last night, I thought it was kevin, but I mentioned it today and he was like 'umm what?' the sn was occasionalsalmon, everybody should harass that sn if they see it online. I feel uber stupid because I started talking to the person like it was kevin, but it wasn't. Oh well, at least I didnt say anything scandalous. lol. anyways, today hasn't been so bad, I blame it on the cancer/aries sun and moon combination.

dreams

ever have such a vivid dream that you wake up and take a few minutes to re-orient yourself to reality? I get those every so often, its weird! In other news, I'm actually in clinic today, I need some new patients so I'm hanging out. Nobody else is here, so it's a good opportunity. Dr Cote actually was just in here looking for peeps, but I've got a patient with him at noon, so that's no good. I can't freekin wait to go back to maine, I spend my days and nights thinking about how wonderful it is in the summertime. I guess it takes time away from what you've got to realize how it affects you when its gone. Only a few more months! Im gonna miss being in school, but at the same time it will be good to have a steady paycheck, buy a house and all that crap..I've been looking at real estate in the area I hope to end up, its kinda pricy but I think just a starter house will do, something with a little bit of land for a garden and maybe a dog and/or cat, maybe a hammock in the back yard. That's all I want in life, too much to ask? I saw a great wicker furniture set at xmas tree shop (the best store ever) I almost bought it, but I dont have space right now for it. Soon grasshopper, soon

chestnut ridge

there's a park a few miles from buffalo, 'chestnut ridge' park. Its like 1200 acres of wilderness with a bunch of run-down picnicking areas with a few roads winding around the park. And its a very creepy place to be, it just has a strange feeling to it. A feeling, I guess i would say, of times gone by, of other places and other times. I think it used to be inhabited by people, but now its just a lonely place. We were walking on a random hiking/skiing/horsebackriding trail, and we passed what I think was an old foundation, and a little bit further we passed an old chimney. I went down to check it out, there was scads of old broken glass bottles strewn about on one side of the chimney, the chimney had a date on it, like '1936' or something. It was hard to tell, part of the date was broken off. Oh yeah, all the picnicking shelters are built with the chestnut trees killed by the plague that swept through north america in the early 20th century, that might be part of the creepy part too. anyways, we'll keep on going there, I just wanted to share the creepiness. Its not just being alone in the woods thats creepy, we were at letchworth yesterday and i didnt get that same feeling at all. Letchworth is pure serenity, minus all the little teenagers who like to randomly stand around on bridges and be lame...oh well. In other news, I'm jealous of all my fellow mainers who are enjoying the summer up there. I'm jonesing for a maine summer real bad. Next year, fo' sho

summer

I miss summer in maine..buffalo is nice, but it's not as nature-y as I'd like..I spose we are about as far from naturey activities are we are in maine...acadia is an hour away, baxter state park is an hour away..maybe the differernce is that in maine you dont travel to nature, you are in the middle of it..yeah. we can walk to our back yard and its the woods, and we live in the middle of town. that is nice. Anyways, only a few more months and it'll be time to go back homeeee! not in time for summer, but there will be summers to come. there are a few nature-y sights around here, chestnut ridge park is a few minutes away, and allegheny is down south for a good time, but its kind of like a cheap subsitute, kind of like how cayuga was a cheap substitute for a good lake. One thing I never noticed about SF, its very pretty in the summer. I was always too preoccupied with this or that to realize it, but its green and water-y and not bad. The problem with that area is that its a drive to go anywhere for decent shopping, even more so with that lame detour...so its important to find a good mix, somewhere between buffalo and seneca falls. Rochester? I was kidding, but that actually isn't so far off. Victor is kind of inbetween rochester and canandaigua, if i was staying in NY I would probably want to live around that area. I'm not, so I don't. OK tyler florence is on...sweet!

so

back in the dark ages, in undergrad, I wanted to get my undergrad degree, but I didn't want to waste a semester student teaching, when I knew teaching wasn't what I wanted to do. The music dept didn't have any precedent for someone in the music ed program doing a capstone paper in lieu of student teaching, but I figured since the gen ed degrees did it, they might consider it. So I submitted a proposal of sorts about how I wanted to do a project investigating the different research done on how music affects a persons ability to learn and creatively absorb other seemingly unconnected subjects. They said I couldn't do it, and I returned the favor by leaving umaine with my 3.6 gpa and no degree. Not that I needed it, but it kind of peed me off that they were so stuck in their ways as to not let students do MORE work for their degree (music teaching is probably difficult in its own ways, but not in the way I wanted to improve myself) anyways here's a website I got from Kate about an organization in the bronx which has put my ideas into practice.. http://www.dreamyard.com/dreamyard/ I'm glad someone else can see this connection, UMaine obviously didn't have a clue

hm

woke up today feeling...different...dont really know how, but just different. This clinic thing is getting old, I'm ready to start makin some monnney, enough with this lame stuff. I wonder when board scores come out, I'm kind of scared to look but at the same time I just want to know. bleh.

aaahhh

I finally got the gumption to get a full-sized bed..its so big and comfy, i'm glad I took the plunge. It just gets crowded on a twin, that should have ended at undergrad. Oh well, I'm a tad late to the whole not-twin-bed thing, but it finally happened. We went to the allentown art festival (ash came up for the weekend) today, it was a lot of fun, but I'm tuckered out..we also tried out the idylwood pool, it was nice and pool-y. Woo

slide shows

strange how people make slide shows for special occasions. I guess its good to remember crap and all that, and for some reason events always seem like they were more fun in retrospect and set to music. we didn't have one at our farewell dinner, cuz the whole thing was a little half-assed...the class below us did however, and from the pictures its seems like they're all best buds and everything is great. of course thats never the case, peopel have likes and dislikes and shit always goes down because that's what shit does. Its nice to pretend everybody likes everybody else at a special event though. anyways, just an observation. Kevin and i drank too much last night, i haven't drank (like more then a glass of wine) in a long time. bleh. farmers market and allentown art festival today! woo!

eek

there's a lot of new students on nycc looking for places to live...I feel sorry for them, knowing all that they will go through in the next few years. Damn, how the eff did I make it to 9th tri..very carefully, I spose. Kevin and I are going to day 1 of the (mu)fulletta guitar competition tonight, I am very excited! I have an acute shortage of arts in my life, that should be cured tonight. It certainly isn't filled by the performing arts elective I'm taking, for some reason that bothers me. I guess maybe that could be the case because I dont like whiny performers, I am kind of of the 'get over it' mindset, too many musicians are prima donnas who need everything PERFECT. I guess if it makes you play better then fine, but I dont want to hear about it. The yoga weekend, on the other hand, was awesome. I really learned a lot, it definitely will be a good thing to introduce into a practice. Oh yeah, I'm going to boston next weekend, I'm excited! I need to get out of this fricken state, ew. Something weird about cheektowagans, in the summertime they turn their garages into living rooms, I went for a walk yesterday and there were tons of people just...sitting...in their garages, it was kind of creepy. I felt like I was being watched. Oh well, its a culture thing I guess..

words

words bring out the sentimental side in me...I found a recipe site online that has a short introduction to it before the recipe, and the way the writer portrays the scene she is describing just makes me long for times past, seasons gone..she was talking about fall, and it made me want it to be fall. Of course, after fall comes winter, which blows. I like summer right now, I think. it still made me reminsce though. also, seneca falls in the fall makes me think about 1st tri, and how strange it was, in many different ways. I was driving yesterday and it made me think about the summer before I came here to school, how excited I was to be moving to another state, get a fresh start on things, start the beginning of the end...and how its almost to a close. I think I've changed a lot, definitely have a lot of different viewpoints on things then when i came here. Mostly I think I'm ready to go home, maine is so beautiful in the summer, its a nice cool breeze most of the time, and just a short drive to lots of different great places on the coast. sigh, and the pace of life is so much less hectic then it is around here, I cant wait to graduate!

fuck

I need to get out of this town, asap. the ghosts in my brain never even existed, and certainly dont' now. I dont know why I can't get some peace in my head. I hate seneca falls

doug's fish fry

holy crap, I'm so mad i didnt know about this place before now...in skaneateles...its amazing! I got it off a hot tip from a cute guy ;) kevin's dad goes there every time he's in the area, and with good reason. that place is awesome! mmm fish and french fries and coleslaw, all slathered in ketchup/malt vinegar/tartar sauce..holy crap.

'dating game'

I was watching curb your enthusiasm last night with kevin..there was this scene where the main character was jokingly going up to some girl and 'hitting' on her at a bar. It got me to thinking, the few times guys have hit on me. I generally ignore them, I dont think its a valid way to meet someone, just randomly have some stranger come up to you and try to impress you..just not a good start to a relationship. I mean...if youre just looking for a good time, then great, but for any valid sort of relationship (which is all I have ever wanted, I dont fuck around with this stuff), its just ridiculous. I dont know, maybe thats a maine thing, people from where I'm from dont try to hook up at bars, we are more serious about that stuff then people from other states, I've realized. anyways. keri and I went to dinner at sample, a restaurant in downtown buffalo that serves small portions, it was delicious and very fun! I got their lavender and honey martini, it was awesome! ugh I'm tired, booze does that to me...wicked...

the bad part

the bad part about living in a city (or very close to a city) is that the travel time to anything is reduced..which is normal a great thing, except traveling to a location is part of the fun. I can recount so many fun times driving to skaneateles for an evening of good ol' fashioned fun, driving to geneva, auburn, syracuse, rochacha...now that we're in buffalo, there's nowhere to go. I applied for an associateship in NH, which would be great...the location is right outside portsmouth, which is a beautiful little city right on the border...its an hour away from boston, probably not taht hard to catch a train into the city and have funnnn..anyways I would like to get back to the commuter lifestyle. dont get me wrong, I really like buffalo, despite its backwards way of thinking (black people dont really talk to white people, and vica versa...) its a city with character, albeit a bit depressing at times. I'm just ready to settle into a job and start makin some money..buy a house so kevin can get his hands dirty in the back yard, have a dog and live the good life..ooh yeah 6 more months baby, I can taste freedom

strange

I dont know why, but for some strange reason I get really annoyed when people take things...anything...seriously. I'm in the 'perfoming arts' elective, and it just bugs me for him to talk about performers and their problems. Its just something I think people should deal with and not be all dramatic about. that might make me a bad doctor, I dont know. dr meechan was talkign about how after a while you just kind of get jaded and dont care about peoples' problems any more. Maybe I'm ahead of my time, I'm jaded before I even get out of chiro school. hmm. that could be an issue for me down the road, just maybe.

thankful

after being chewed up and spit out by several 'guys' (boys) in my life, I'm thankful to find one who isn't like that. unfortunately, the damage is done by the a-holes in my past, and an unfortunate side-effect is kevin needing to deal with an occasional bubbling up of bad memories and experiences. He's wonderful though, I'm lucky to have found him.

hm

I like blogging intermittently on a blog that doesn't notify people when I post...it pretty much guarantees that nobody reads what i write. I dig it. Balance. We all need it, whether we are aware of it or not. I think its one of the main reasons we choose the people who we spend our time with. When I first came to buffalo, I was way out of whack. not going to discuss why, just take it at face value. When a person feels like they are missing something on their scales of balance, they start to do some pretty wacky stuff. I know I was doing very random, un-candace-like things. Not as dramatic as all that, but I def didn't feel myself. anyways, balance is (mostly) restored, although on one hand I hate change, on the other its necessary for personal growth. My dreams have been a little askew lately, though. I just woke up from a dream where I was hanging out with my sister at our old middle school, and buffalos were chasing us around. I dont know what that means, but it was weird. Oh, i probably got the buffalos from being in the park last night..there's a zoo in delaware park, they have buffalos that you can see from outside the park. I ran past them a few times, they're pretty cool. anyways.

dreams..

I dont know if dreams are a mental detox or what, they are a tad disturbing at times, that is for sure. I dont even want to describe what I dreamt of last night, plus who wants to hear about someone else's dreams. it wasn't disturbing persay, they were just very vivid, and cameos were made of people I would rather not have in my dreams. anyways, it was an interesting night. I was feeling crappy when i went to bed, I'm better now, maybe being sick makes your dreams weird?

hm

making pho tonight, I've been sick and figured that a chickeny spicy soup would be good to clean out the ol' breathing apparatus...it smells delicious, this time I'm using chicken thighs (last time I made it vegetarian..) but I had thighs in the fridge, so decided to go there. it takes like an hour and a half to cook, but that is good considering I'm not hungry yet. I even have bean sprouts and lime juice to go with it, should be delicious! everybody in clinic was in a jovial mood today, it was fun at clinic. I got all my work done waiting for 6 to roll around, I felt very accomplished. ugh emeril is on, he's a d-bag. anyways, just wanted to share my pho adventures, exciting like whoa! Everyboyd I know is getting engaged/married/preggers, its so weird. when did we all grow up?

hmmmmmmmmm

I dont like thinking about graduating...I mean its nice to finally be out of school, but I dont know where to go, what to do...the lady I shadowed over break was nice and all, but she was activator, I dont think I want to be just activator, plus her office staff was weird. hm. I could go back to the bangor area, but there's nothing much up there. Theres no associateships or whatnot in the portland area, so I just dont really know. somewhere between portland and bangor perhaps...bleh I hate thinking about the future. I just want things to never change and for nobody to bother me in my happy little bubble of contentment. bleh. In other news, the woods were fun, kevin got freaked out by nature (ah whats that noise..whats that noise..) and we got visited by a porcupine during the night (we stayed in the lean-to, which is a shelter that is open on one side. we watched the porcupine amble around the campsite, and the guy even put his front paws on the shelter, looking as if he wanted to come in and cuddle. ahh!) anyways it was fun, I'm exhausted though. bleh clinic tomorrow, I hafta go to tonawanda...stupid old peeps. bleh

psyched

I am freekin psyched for this weekend, kevin and I are going backpacking for a few days in allegany state park, on the north country trail! the packs (which i bought off craigslist for a good price) are pretty much packed, I've got enough food for a good few days of wandering around in the woods, we are ready to get out of this town for a few days and immerse ourselves in nature! woo I can't wait, I just hope the trails arent packed full of d-bags. I dont think they will, its hard to find maps of the area, which is annoying to say the least..oh well, it'll be fun I am sure

part 4...

done and over with...there's always that nervous 'did I eff that up?!!' but I think I did okay..I had a good study source (if anybody wants it let me know and i'll send you the link..) which pretty much told me what I had to know. the pep stations were pretty tricky (the ones between seeing patients) I think that was the hardest part. The stations themselves weren't bad at all...I'm just glad its over! phewwwwwwwwww

happiness

I dunno, maybe its just the stress from boards talking...but it seems like I'm not happy lately. The past week has been a real downer. I bet its mostly from all this studying, it seems like contentedness is just out of grasp, and if I do catch ahold of it, it kind of slips through my fingers, or its there and then gone, like an afterthought or a dream you try to remember but just can't

sad

I feel sorry for people who feel the need to talk about everybody else on a constant basis. I mean, how pathetic is it that their life is boring enough that they need to butt in on everybody else's existence to find happiness. Not only that, but they have to talk negatively about everybody to give themselves a little ego boost. The world would be a better place without these hateful attitudes, but what can you do about someone like that? Shake your head and hope they find a new hobby, I guess

hot damn!

I am officially halfway done with my adjustment numbers. fricken yeah! now I just have to pass part 4 this weekend...eek

don't go changing..

I had weird dreams last night, much different then I've had before. I can't explain it, they were just...different...oh yeah i remember what they were. I dont want to go into it, it was just weird. I dont like change, it is unsettling. I need to get my ass in gear, this blog entry is pointless, but in a good way

awesome

I dont really have the blog drive anymore, but I will anyways. I had an amazing weekend (they all are, but this one especially so) kev and I spent the weekend meeting and greeting his 'rents, I met his mom, his dad, his sister, his grandma (she is a fiesty old bird hehhhh) um oh yeah his uncle and aunt...it was quite the weekend! We met up with his ma on friday afternoon, then went to stay at ash's for the eve..then went to syracuse to meet with his dad and fam (his dad lives in chicago, but came into town for mother's day and for kev's b-day) anyways we went out to this really good italian restaurant in town, Dominick's. I had the best manicotti I think I've ever had..it was really reasonably priced too. I definitely recommend it. Then today we went to red robin to celebrate both his and ash's birthdays, if you sign up for their b-day club they send you a coupon good for a free burger...yum...they are the shizz. anyways that was fun, I'm back now at my place, its so nice to have someone who I can spend as much time as possible with and not get sick of...its awesome..he's awesome..this whole situation is great! He mentioned today that he wants to build a log cabin, which is totally a mainer thing to do (we're too thrifty a bunch to just hire a contractor to do all the dirty work, we'd rather be in the thick of it making sure things are done right. ayuh.) so anyways he's gonna be my little builder, its settled. heh. I just need a job and some sort of land to build some sort of house. hmm. gotta work on that one I 'spose. anyways, tonawanda early tomorrow, so its off to bed.

enthusiasm of new experiences..

bugs the crap outta me. I understand its exciting to be in a new place, but when other people who have been in the clinic are trying to get things done...it might be good to not be obnoxious the first day you're there...bleh, i'm in a grouchy mood, I'm just frontin'. I guess I'm just sad to not be the new guys in clinic anymore, no excuse for mediocrity now...although there aer good things to being old, pat narrs are easy now, I just banged out two (one of which was a new patient, so I had to do problem list and plan with it..) in no time flat. awesome.

important to say

I had something important to say, but I forgot what it was. Hm. Kevin and I are going to train for a marathon, I know i said i was last summer, but things got busy. its better with a running partner, its good cuz he's in better shape then me, so he can motivate me to get goin'. Some lady asked me if I was irish today, I dont know what it is about buffaloians thinking I'm irrrrish or whatever. stupids. I've been at a few rotations this week and part of last week, downtown on wed and fri and tonawanda on mon, tues, and thurs. I am starting to feel more like a doc, which is good. I think at some point I want to get ART certified, I think that shit really works. Graston would be good too, and I plan on activator this summer as well...good things! Umm I'm excited for electives too, I'm taking yoga in a chiro setting as well as SOT I, just to see what the big deal is...or maybe I'll drop them, we'll see. I dont need the credits, but I find hillenbrand's classes to be especially useful. hm I think I'm going to make rice and beans and enchiladas for dinner, kevin's at a concert right now but he'll be home later on and will be hunnnngry as I am right now...hmm I guess I'll go fridge surfing in the meantime..its been absolutely gorgeous out today, wooooo

strange

how someone can go from being a perfect stranger to being one of the most important people in your life...in the span of a few months...sadness is a distant memory, he lights up my life with a warm fuzzy feeling I can't describe

prejudice

I dont know what it is about people caring about appearances..it seems that everybody who meets kevin seems to somehow mention how 'skinny' he is. while I would agree he is a slender individual, but I dont know why its socially acceptable to mention someone's body type if they are slender, but not okay to say 'I met you boyfriend, hes really fat...' I think its kind of reverse prejudice in a way. I like him just the way he is, and I find it a little rude that people find it wise and prudent to mention it. Its about the person, not the person's appearance

why

I dont know why I do this to myself...alone in my apt, nobody to talk to..I should be studying, and while I am, the inevitable lonliness comes creeping in...kevin has been by my side for the better part of a week and a half...he is a very good detractor, has been since we've met. however, there's always that low-level current of wondering how things might have been different. I dont wish to expand further, I really just wish things were as simple as they should be. There's a reason I try to separate myself as far as possible from the situation, because I just want to have some peace in my life...4 months should have done it, but I'm beginning to think it's hopeless. Part of me really misses the good ol times, before things changed so much. I guess change is good, its not like that was going anywhere. As dumb as situations are sometimes though, you like them they way they are, dumb or not. where's my kevin, I need distractions asap

blogging..

keeps me sane...part of this whole aquarius/virgo thing is the fact that I really can't be deceitful, although I can willfully withhold part of the truth, I can't tell a lie. part of my charm. anyways, blogging always makes me feel better, and while most of the time it doesn't matter a hill of beans to me who sees my blog, there are some things I just have to write to certain groups of people. I have another blog, mostly for old college friends...it kind of completes the blogging circle, stuff I can't post here publicly I'll post friends-only here (if I can, I actually haven't figured out how to do that..) and stuff i can't post friends-only here I'll post on my other blog. great. I signed up for a CSA a few weeks ago, but never got confirmation that they recieved it. maybe I'll email them to make sure they got it. sure.

maine

whee its been a while since I've been able to sit down and do a little brain-dump on the ol' blog..my parents dont have internet anymore, and the neighbors' signal was too weak, so we had an epic journey around the town to findi nternet. we went to a few coffeeshops hoping to have luck, starbucks charges you an arm and a leg, a place we found called joe's java shack advertised free internet, but it was a shitty signal. We finally gave up and went to the library, we didn't realize they had wireless internet though and spent the first day there on their shitty old computers. Which brings me to my beef with the library. The next day we decided to try to find wireless and yes..they had internet...anyways we sat down in an area in the children's section next to some other computers that weren't being used..kevin was on my laptop for a while, and I decided to sit down at one of the unused computers in that section (there were probably 15 computers in the room, none of them being used by anybody) anyways i got halfway through my thank-you email to the chiropractor I visited, and some lady (I assume the librarian or whatever) came over and informed me that if I wanted to use a computer, I had to 'use the ones upstairs'. That pissed me off...normally it makes sense, the ones in the children's section weren't password protected, they want kids to have a chance bla bla..but the computers in the kids section were a LOT better, they had computer screens you could actually see, and were faster. anyways, that disgruntled me a bit. I guess on principle, it makes sense, if they let one adult use the kid computers, then they have to let everybody, and then the kids couldn't get on to learn their ABCs or whatever. it just pissed me off. Anyways we found internet, but I wasn't in a bloggy mood in maine. Speaking of maine, we had an awesome time! We found a great restaurant in bangor, paddy murphys. It is an irish pub-type place, but they have other stuff on the menu too. I had an asian salad the first time we went (the waitress was dissapointed when I ordered it, since kevin had ordered the guinness stew right before me, which excited her to no end) anyways the salad was good, kevins stew was amazing (as reported by him, I dont eat beef) um ash had a sandwich with fries..the fries were awesome, kind of lightly battered and with lots of fun spices...anyways we went again on sunday, I had a turkey pesto sandwich with sweet potato fries (again, not terribly irish, but very good) kevin had fish and chips (all you can eat on sundays! he could only do two servings, but it was a valiant effort) ash had some chicken wrap with sweet potatoes, she and I both got beer as well..I got allagash white, she got blue bear blueberry...maine has a lot of microbreweries, with lots of good beer. Lets see what else did we do? went to acadia twice..the second time we went with my buds emily and scott, went up an epic trail, complete with ladders and rails to climb up this cool ravine that was carved out by a stream we had to walk up to follow the trail..discovered peanut butter and banana sandwiches are ideal trail food, drove down for the day so I could shadow the chiropractor (which was awesome. She uses activator, and watching her work made me think that crap actually does something. I think I'm going to maybe use activator in my practice? Definitely if I work with her) she had a beautiful office, right downtown in a awesome town in southern maine. I can't divulge details, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement, I would say its in one of the nicest areas of the state. Anyways, it would be great if that worked out. I am antsy to graduate and start practicing, only 6ish more months! I'm a little nervous for part 4, I'm not too good with practical exams, but I'm gonna study hard for the practice exam thsi weekend, that will hopefully help me focus my studying a little so i will be good to go for actual exam...eek! anyways I'm all blogged out, kind of hungry, gonna go see what kevin has in his kitchen..ta

*zombie noise*

sf is nice to visit, but only for a short while. I was bored shortly after getting here last night...luckily we're going to where there is entertainment, around the lake for wineries and to ithaca for good ol' fashioned hippy fun! Pictures to follow, maybe..

holy hell

two new patients (one of whom was blind as well as hard of hearing) and one re-eval later, I'm beat...and I can't adjust worth crap, although I did pull a sweet cross-butterfly out of my ass. yikes, I need a vacation as well as adjusting classes. hah.

ok!

So here I am sitting in clinic...everybody else has pretty much left for break, but I'm stuck in NY until saturday waiting for ash, so here I am. I guess those who are still around don't show up in clinic, due to not wanting to see patients. I find that a little weird, sure its work, but isn't that what we're here for? I remember at the beginning of the tri, everybody WANTED PATIENTS SO BADLY..now everybody is avoiding clinic lest they have to see patients. Well I'm happy to see them, that will make me more prepared for when I have to see patients for, y'know..the rest of my career...whatever dudes. I love this profession, I'll take a hit for the team and cover patients, we're here for them..not vica versa...

hm

I should probably tell the 'rents that there will be 3 of us coming back to maine..for some reason, i can't talk about guys with my parents..I just have never been comfortable talking about them with stuff like that...maybe I should get over it someday. maybe.

munch munch crunch crunch apple

I think facebook greatly changes the dynamics of interpersonal relationships. Before, if you said goodbye to someone, that was it. No strange inclinations of 'checking their page'...which I have been able to ignore, mind you..but its still there, taunting. come on in, see how great my life is without you...but its easy to fake happiness online. I've learned..the hard way..that the internet isn't reality, its a facade composed of whatever we choose to put on it. seeing a picture, you can put any context you want as to what was happening in that picture. The only way you know is to have lived it, or to know the people in the photograph well enough to get an idea of what the group dynamics were. Anyways, I'm excited, for about 10 different reasons. Going home, hopefully have found a job, spending time with a wonderful guy, being the proud owner of a beautiful blue table (its pretty enough to take pictures of and post on facebook...its so blue I can hardly stand it..) anyways moving on with my life is the best decision I've ever made. Its just the only way to go

boo

so I come home this morning to find all my birdseed eaten...and crap all over my balcony. stupid friggen crows. I'm so taking my bird feeder home over break, at least maine birds appreciate the gesture and dont crap all over the place

whoa

lets see...last tri at this point I was 1. moving into my apt here in buffalo, 2. studyin for finals, and 3. being miserable in general. This weekend...well let's recap. kevin and I went to roch yesterday for adventures, actually it was mainly to give ash her cell phone, she left it in my car last weekend. anyways, we got there early and putzed around the city for a while, looked for spot but couldn't find it. boo. anyways we found some sweet deals on furniture and other essentials at xmas tree shops (my favoritest store ever...) in the 'as is' dept I found a side table for 10 bucks, it was a gross brick-red color though. kevin found a cool wooden planter that he's going to have an herb garden in, I would have gotten the same one if I knew it existed, i planted my herb garden in a rubbermaid storage container....oh well, its done and over with. anyways, we put both of those together today, we decided the brick red was a little ugly, so we went to home depot to find some paint or whatever..we found some, and now I have a beautiful blue table (we both are obsessed with the color, it happens) so that was fun..I made mujadarrah for dinner with rice and some fish he made...it was excellent with the rest of the bottle of cab we had. yum. anyways I'm just lying here in a lentil-induced stupor, decided to blog. Oh and I think i have a job for after I graduate, I'm going to have lunch and check out an office in maine while I'm home. It would be a great position for me, except I have to brush up on my activator techniques (or lack of, I can't remember a single fricken thing from that lame class..) turns out she uses it and her patients are very satisfied with it. She had me there, I thought it was a load of crap last tri. Oh well, we'll see what happens. I can't wait to go home, although turns out we'll only be in the area for a week, kev starts a job at the restaurant on top of niagara falls the second week of break, so I'm coming back with him and going to do a few rotations to get most of my numbers done (yay!) although I'll just be sitting around for the rest of my time here in buff, but oh well. Anyways, gonna look up some info about the area I'm hopefully goign to be practicing in (which is propietary at this point, she's not going to tell her staff until its finalized, and i signed an agreement not to disclose said information. ooh i love secrets!) hah. anyways.

anudder one

http://www.stumbleupon.com/demo/#url=http://thepandapage.com/2008/04/07/best-yearbook-photo-ever/

hah

look at the 5th one down...it is so fricken hilarious.. although they are all good..http://www.scribd.com/doc/5107/They-didnt-study

yeasty

I think it is appropriate I be dubbed 'candida albicans'...why you ask? Because. Just kidding, i've got a better answer then that. There is a brand of popcorn sold back home, and I've always loved its..unique..taste, but I could never figure out what the secret was...well I discovered it by accident. Nutritional yeast. Its delicious..its vegan..its cheap! mmmmm I just hope i dont start to smell like a dirty vegan like someone I remember..haha..I'm not a vegan, although i have not been eating meat. I just feel very bogged down when I nosh on animal flesh, I dont know what it is. anyways.

yawn

I'm dating a chef. HOT! He starts the second week of break, so I guess we're only going home for a week. Thats fine by me, after about a week of home I'm ready to come back to school. I signed up for a few rotations for that three week rotation, so it will be good for all concerned. Awesome. I'm kind of bored at clinic, I feel like doing the ol' 'throw the playing cards in the hat' trick on tv that we all have grown to love..maybe I'll study for boreds? maybe. I can't remember orthopedic tests to save my life, too bad it isn't open-book. blah

oh snickerdoodle!

Strangely enough, snickerdoodles proved to be more tricky to make then one would think...I usually successfully make substitutions in recipes, but these ones were a little different. i used crisco instead of butter because the butter was frozen..and it totaly made my cookies weird. I also used whole wheat flour, which I didn't think would matter, but again it kind of did...oh yeah I accidently broiled the first batch (I have a bad habit of doing kitchen things in the dark...the temp was on broil instead of 300 degrees) it actually made an interesting texture on the cookie, the sugar on the outside kind of hardened into this crispy outside, but it was kind of a little too much, aka burnt. Interesting though. anyways I have about 15 weird cookies..lucky for me kevin will eat most things (although he claims to be picky..weird..) I made pho today, it actually wasn't that hard! Veggie pho of course, I dont really eat meat. The most labor-intensive part was the broth, when having pho at red pepper (best chinese food place around, yum!) I couldn't pin down the spices that went into it...turns out it was cinnamon and star anise..I used chinese 5-spice, which worked like a charm. anyways that was a culinary success, next time I'll pick up cilantro and lime to have as the garnish, really makes a big diff. My new favorite food are what we call 'cartoon mushrooms' which we first discovered in the pho, I guess the right term is 'straw mushroom' but they really do look like little cartoons. anyways. We've been lounging around the apt all day, watching a 'top chef' marathon, its quite entertaining. kevin has an interview at the restaurant right next to niagara falls, he's decided computers aren't exactly his passion. I say go for it, you have to be happy first and foremost in life. plus guys who can cook are HOT. I officially have all my numbers for the tri, so I'm just going to do as little work as possible this week and next, and then its time to go to maine!!! yay! I am very excited to show kevin around the state, we have big plans...well, plans to make plans I guess..I'm gonna shadow a few docs over the break to try to find a place to work when i finally gradumatate, I thinnk I've decided it would be best to go back to maine and see how i like it back there, and if I'm not happy, possibly relocate..one thing at a time...I would be happy living on a farm in the country somewhere, close enough to have a practice in a town that would pay the bills (I'm not exactly in the market to be rich, just happy..) plus i think if you are doing extremely well as a chiropractor, you're a bit of a shiester, or I guess very lucky..ahh I'm so not tired, had coffee a few hours ago and now I'm WIRED. I bought nutritional yeast to have over popcorn sometime, turns out its the secret ingredient in the popcorn I enjoy eating back home..I am hella excited. anyways I'm going to go run on my hamster wheel for a while (which I dont actually own, I feel like I need to run myself down though) right. thanks for reading, have a good nite

whoa.

so I was sitting in clinic minding my own business..writing up a few patient narratives I had to do..when mr. kamakaze dustin martin comes zooming into the comp lab and comes over to me...and is like..candace, here's the deal..we need someone to shadow Dr Stephan (the MD who's in cahoots with us wild choirpraktiors) and Dr Cote said he wanted you to go next...and it starts at 12:30..I was gearing up for my patient at noon (it was like 11:45 at that point) so i was like..umm, okay..went and talked to Dr Cote, then to Dr K...and they sent me on my merry little way. Its kind of a shitty gig, I didn't get any adjustment credits (dur its an MD office) and just kind of followed the doc around for the day like a scared little puppy. He wanted me to go in the treatment rooms before he did to get the histories, but he could tell my apprehension (I already know how I would do the history, I wanted to see how he did it..) and I ended up just inputing the patient visits on their electronic record system. It was a neat day, I got a boston market corn muffin out of the deal, not too shabby if you ask me..anyways it was very spur of the moment, I just have to go again next tuesday and that will be done and over with. and then next weekend we get to go to MAINE!! I think Kev and i are coming to SF a few days early to go waterfalling/ithacaing/winerying, he needs to see the very few redeeming qualities of teh fingerlakes which kept me sane for the past few years. anyways, woo its summer! Holy crap its 67 right now, thats like june weather. whoa. anyways, i gotta take a nap and then finish the cases I need to clear tomorrow, awesome.

boo

between the sunshine and the couple of days I got off, I dont want to be in clinic anymore..when does the tri end anyways? On the up side, the weekend before lab finals last tri..I was crammin' like nobody's business. This tri, I spent the weekend before lab finals running around in the sunshine with a wonderful boy and my sis. It can't really get any better then that. OK back to my patient narratives. awesome.

addictive personalities

as much as you try to run away from people, sometimes the allure of an addictive personality is just too hard to get away from. Gotta do your best, but sometimes your best ain't good enough. I made up a new sandwich, apricot, cream cheese, and honey. yum.

decisions

we make decisions for a lot of different reasons...some selfish, some not. The decisions we make today affect us the rest of our life. Its kind of unfortunate, because people in their 20s dont have the decision making skills to be able to know what's best for us and what is just a sudden, rash decision. Anyways, one would think it to be the best for us to make decisions based solely on selfish reasons...I mean, nobody else looks out for our best interests right? that isn't always the case though. If someone has a good head on their shoulders and tells me something, I usually at least consider their viewpoint. I dont always take their advice, but I listen, at the very least. Sometimes its hard to take other people's decisions, because you know them to be based on shady logic, selfish reasoning. But in the end, selfish comes back to bite them in the ass. And if it doesn't, so what...just gotta live your life as it comes. With patient files, its important to update the problem list to reflet 'highest clinical knowledge'...you have to do the same with everyday reasoning, as well. don't base decisions today on things you knew to be true 6, 12 months ago...its just about today. what is real this very moment, what you know to be true. I keep having to tell myself this, its true today as much as it is any other time..life in the moment, dont let the past get you down. I make that mistake too much, its done and over with, time doesn't stop with other peoples' poor decisions

art gallery

kevin and I went to the art gallery last night, its free admission from 3-10 every friday. we had fun, the art gallery is more modern, so we saw a lot of..modern...stuff. I didnt think I could bring a camera in, but I did anyways. some pics are on facebook, wheeeee! I hope its nice out, the park might be waiting for us. I think we're going somewhere in clarence for lunch, home to the rich and famous of WNY. awesome.

better

as weird as this sounds, I think life is better when you just don't feel anything. Just going through life in an emotionless haze is so much more easier then being emo all the time. I've had enough of that to last my whole life, I think. maybe thats why I'm just going through the motions, nothing more left to feel. I don't even hate people anymore, which is weird. I'm kind of just this monochrome being going through the motions. Maybe the funk is temporary, but right now its comfortable. I just don't care

people

come in and out of your life. Physically, sometimes they stick, sometimes they dont. Mentally, sometimes they stick and sometimes they dont. Despite ourselves and our best efforts, we can't really control either one. Well, we can to a point, but there is a lot which is out of our control. A smile, such a little thing, but something that can mean so much to one who hasn't smiled in a long time. Not a fake smile either...a big, ear-to-ear grin, with the eyes crinkling and all that. I guess maybe it isn't such a small thing afterall.

spring!

its officially spring I think. I actually saw a bird at my birdfeeder today, a sweet-ass chicadee (none other then the official state bird of my homeland)...I definitely think the birds have been noshing, its about 1/3 of the way down the container. I'll try to get pics of birds, they are very fast though so its a little sketchy. anyways I was happy to hear them out there this morning, I was getting worried that they hated my birdfeeder! It was probably just that a lot of them weren't around in the winter. That is different from maine, at home we have birdfeeders all year round, and they even come when its cold outside. I dunno maybe maine birds are a heartier bunch. We always got a lot of bluejays and squirrels, my dad didn't like either. they 'scared away' the little birds. oh. anyways, it is beautiful out, but I am stuck in the clinic. I dont mind that much, I might walk over to weggies to get some coffee in a few minutes, I dont have my first patient until noon. OH. Last night we were feeling especially frisky, so we got ingredients for this phillipino dessert I learned of last night. It's called halo halo, and its basically a mix of a bunch of different things. They are traditionally made with sweetened beans and some purple yam, but I wanted it to make it not so weird, plus they didn't have either at wegmans, so I just added more fruit..it was canned fruit in the bottom (papaya, mango, and some weird thing called 'jackfruit'. It wasn't bad, some of them just had a weird texture, kind of like chewing gum) then 'shaved ice' (I dont have an ice shaver, so we just took ice cubes and pounded them with my incriminating rolling pin, to get back at the downstairs neighbors for playing their ethno-beat crap music at 8:30 in the morning..not exactly the right texture but we got the basic idea) and then coconut milk on top of that...then evaporated milk on top of that, and a scoop of ice cream to top it all off. They were very good, although we were bouncing off the walls after eating them. It wasn't very authentic, but kind of the right idea. We sure know how to party! anyways.

nice...

sometimes I wish I was a nicer person. I mean, I think I'm kind and all that crap, but when it comes to be outgoing and forcefully nice, i just can't do it. I think i'm a pleasant person, but I'm not one of those people who can be 'inyourface' about wanting to be friendly or whatever. I am who I am, thats about it. I have to be aloof, I get scared if I am forced to do something or be in a certain place with a lot of people I'm not comfortable around. Sad but true. anyways, clinic comes way too soon, time for bed. awesome.

oh yeah

the head clinician at the clinic has decided I'm a good intern...he keeps on complimenting me in front of patients, that makes me happy. I used to think he was an a-hole, but he just likes things to be correct, which I respect. I'd rather learn it right and go through a bit of extra work then to just do it wrong forever. Anyways he and I are bffs, which rocks the hizzouse

studying...

I dont mind studying for things that will be useful..but looking at things that I can just look up...its pointless, and the information doesn't stick anyways. bleh. Oh well, just I gotta just keep truckin'..after part 4 is over, I'll be golden. I helped kevin buy a rug this morning..didn't have rotation until 1, so took a few mins and went with him to FWS (rug and funiture place) and he got a pretty sweet one, I approve. He and i both share a love for the color blue, so it works out. He didn't get a couch, realized that it wouldn't fit into his vehicle..I told him he should get a papasan and a bean bag chair instead, and he agreed with me, I think. Anyways, my life is boring as of lately, I dont have any angst. Its good to be happy, but the interestingness of my blog suffers as a result...oh well, there's always stumble if you guys get bored..

nice

I like this trickle down effect..the acupuncture lady had an appointment for a massage today from one of the student masseuses...but since she's so busy, she had to cancel her appointment, I happened to be the first person to come up to the desk while they were looking for someone to fill the slot..it pays to be not busy. anyways, I got a sweet massage...oh and I made a patient better today. I only had to make up ART for the leg. I think I got it though, she was in a lot of pain. anyways her feeling so much better after such a simple thing really made my day. I'm gonna go help kevin buy a couch now, I think. woo

hm

I can't embed songs on here so I'll just say it, I'm sure you guys have heard it billions of times. The song Dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer...for some reason, this song gets stuck in my head for no apparent reason. I dont even have to had heard it on the radio, it just pops up occasionally. I like his mood in this song, its very appropriate to the content. I dunno, it just clicks for me I guess

whoops

i have nothing interesting to blog about anymore. being happy does that to you, I guess. we went for a walk in chestnut ridge park today, it was wilderness-y and wonderful. I was concerned at our lack of knowing where the heck we were going, but it was beautiful out enough to keep wandering around until we found the way out. I love the woods, so peaceful and energizing. I always keep forgetting my camera when we go places, I should start remembering. Hm. anyways I've got a frittata in the oven, gonna go check that..

television

being with kevin has been an adjustment..he doesn't have a tv at his place, so I have had to adjust to the lack of constant mediocre entertainment. I think I'm over it now but for a while it was sensory underload. Stumble is a great search tool, it usually provides me with entertainment. We have had stuff to do, he has the complete arrested development series, so we've been watching that (funny shit, I recommend it to anybody and everybody) we have similar interests, cooking music etc etc so that keeps us pretty busy. He's got a cool park right by his place too, so we go there and fool around sometimes (no not like that, thats weird) funny, we always end up going to big lots and target on the weekend. its just our usual routine. go figure. I prefer to be with someone who I can spend a lot of time with, but not in an 'in your face' kind of way. I'm low-maintenance, and I like someone who is the same way. We had crepes this morning, they were awesome. Asparagus and halloumi cheese...yum...oh made a few sweet ones as well, although I have to say the savory ones had a certain zing to them. They would have been better with some sort of hollandaise sauce, but were good as they were. anyways, I should jump in the shower, wheeeeeee. Oh he has a blog, I recommend it for further reading, he is a good blogger. He responded to my 'real people' blog, you can get to it from there..

nice

its nice to have found someone who likes so many of the same interests I do...such that i can pretty much just be myself, and not have to change what i do. I just do it with him around. awesome. the trimester is almost ever, I need to have EXTREEEME fun over april break, as it will probably my last break for a very long time. I have the random desire to live in a place where one can grow lemon trees, but maybe I'll just have to live with a green house with which to grow one's own lemons indoors. or something.

on occasion

every once in a while, an 'aha' moment hits you. things are visible in a new light, never (hopefully) to be the same. I had extremely vivid dreams last night, and I think I figured out a lot of things...I know, strange to have revelations in one sleep. I actually think thats why we dream, to kind of sum up everything that happened in our mind, and make sense out of it. Sometimes dreams don't make sense, maybe thats our brain's interpretation of the days events. Often non-sensical, but they are what they are. Anyways, last night my brain was summarizing my time in seneca falls. That is good, summarizing means moving on. What a strange time. I was looking at pictures on facebook last night...people hanging out through the tris, some things I was at (halloween parties) other I was not (random wine tours, etc.) I saw some pics of the 3rd tri coat-burning party, man that lake is beautiful. Not enough to get me to stay around the area, but it was beautiful. Anyways, I think I enjoy events more after the fact, thinking about what happened, then I do at the actual location. I'm usually not very 'into' events as they occur, I prefer to sit back and watch..and then will think about them later on, and enjoy them from afar. Anyways, things are a little more sorted for me now, which is a good thing.

usually dont..

I usually dont post stuff like this, but I liked it. so here we go.

21 Suggestions for Success

By H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

omfg

kevin made an orange meringue pie...it was delicious! My favorite kind of pie is lemon meringue, but this one is a serious contender. the recipe needs a bit of tweaking, maybe a orange-flavored gram cracker crust, or a thinner crust of some sort, and it needed more orangey filling, and it would have been outta this world! It was delicious as it was though, I caught maself a pie-making fool. I think he mentioned making a blueberry meringue pie in honor of my homeland, I am excited to see how it turns out..

real people

So strange to realize the fact that some people just...arent...real. I mean they exist and live, but as far as being actual living breathing human beings, it just seems like there are empty shells walking along..no personality, noone to really care about, they just exist for the sake of existing. I wonder how people get to be that way. I remember when I was young, I watched some scary cartoon movie. Or it could have been a dream I had once, or maybe a scary movie that I subsequently had a dream about. anyways, at one point in this movie/dream/both, I remember people turning into stone and become part of a wall, because of some evil force or something..and I think these individuals are kind of like that. they have turned to stone because of something in their life that has negatively impacted their reality. I dunno, maybe they think they're living for real, but I think its not exactly like that. Anyways, just a random thought

woo

it is deceptively sunny out, although even the sunshine is better then the doldrums of winter. Its 31 right now..I guess it is getting warmer, it used to be 31 as the daily high...spring is acomin! Kevin and i both agree the nicest part of the year is those few days when the trees sprout their leaves/flowers, it only lasts for a day or two, but its absolutely magical, kind of like a rebirth of the earth. I can't wait! I also can't wait for break, he might be coming back to maine with us...thats a big 'well see', depends on a few things...anyways, I have some shredded wheat in the kitchen with my name on it. I also discovered this thing called 'stumble' its kind of like pandora for websites. It gives you a random website based on your interests. It's only given me a few stupid sites, most of them have been great! I watched a video last night of the survivorman and his family biulding a house 'off the grid'...his wife was the most boring person ever...but it was interesting despite that. anyways

wtf!

Stupid easter shopping hours..or lack thereof..I just want to spend some quality time (or time at least) with my li'l sis doing what we do best...stupid xmas tree shop in rochester is CLOSED on account of silly holidays. lame. Oh well, red robin is still open, and they are delicious. red robin, yummmmm

whoa

last night we had the most...interesting...meal ever. We had gone to wegmans cuz kevin had to buy groceries...just random groceries, sans list..anyways after much mulling about wegmans (its as much his pasttime as it is mine..if you ever need to find me you'll usually catch me in weggies) he bought a decent load of groceries..and ended up making a greek spinach pie complete with haloumi (which the artichoke free sample girl commented on) and some fried calamari. I had a bit of an upset stomach over some falafel gone wrong...so it was quite interesting, gastrointestinally speaking..the pie was very good, as was the calamari, it was just not exactly something you would automatically think to put together. Anyways this morning was much more...normal...buckwheat pancakes (with REAL maple syrup, my new englander ways are getting the best of him) scrambled eggs and bananana. yum. anyways I think we're going to go cause trouble in the park, so if you see us on the news, thats why

whoa

in class this morning (most boring class ever, there's really no controversy surrounding a marketing class) the token d-bag of depew clinic (who also happens to be in keri and my presentation group) started arguing with the professor about philosophy and how he wouldn't talk to doctors about actually curing, but about curing the 'subluxation'...which a lot of chiropractors think is an out-of-date paradigm. Anyways he wouldn't stop, and he made no sense..it went on for like 10 minutes and he was very angry. Roid rage, as keri said. anyways, it made for an interesting morning...weird. I dont want him in my profession, he will bring us down

whoa

I noticed today that I'm slowly become canadian...I kind of say 'aboot' and other canadian things. Its weird, I guess maine really is kind of canadian. weird.

whoa

what a difference in getting adjusted by students vs an adjustment from a real chiropractor...meechan showed us some adjusting yesterday and keri and I both got the work-up. my neck is like new again, weird how chiropractic actually works. He inspired me to get my speeder out and I started building up my cervical pull skillz. It was fun. I've got to work on my kick too for lumbars, it is pretty weak right now. Oh well, 8ish more months before I'm a doc, so I have time to work on it. I dont do lumbars here anyways, cuz thats the main chief complaint around here..which means the docs usually take care of it. Not usually, they do. I did some lumbars in lighthouse, but that was still a little hit-or-miss...yup. anyways, I have a new patient at noon that I am awaiting the arrival of, I am not a good liar and actually told dr cote how many new patients I have (or dont have) so he gave the pt to me. awesome. Oh well, I'm gonna be doing this for the next 80 years, so I'd better get good now rather then later..

one more reason buffalo kicks a$$

keri and I needed some fun after a long day of bleh...so we went to dave and busters for dinner..they have a 15.99 special where you get dinner and 10 dollars worth of tokens for their games...anyways we had a blast! It was happy hour, so I got a 2.50 house margarita (wheee) as well as a billion tickets in the games (well more like 670) so I ended up getting a giant 'dave and busters' pen, a shot glass, and a ring pop to relive my childhood. anyways, it was awesome! Ilovebuffalo

aw

today is the first official registration day we dont have the day off. its sad. Although keri and i are at BSS, which isn't a lot of work, its still sad. We signed up for electives last night, even though I have all my credits..and then some..I still want to take classes included in my tuition while i can. Anyways I'm excited, I finally get to take performing arts medicine, I had been wanting to take that since I saw it was offered..and hillenbutt's new yoga in a chiropractic setting class, that should be fun!! And SOT, keri said it was worth taking. I'll take SOT II in the fall and that will be that

soup?

I made buffalo chicken soup today...well sort of. I didn't have chicken so I just used chicken base and added frank's to add spice..sauteed onions and mushrooms first to get a good flava, then put everything else in. Added some rice and some parmesan peppercorn dressing (the closest i had to blue cheese) anyways it was decent, a little weird-tasting (the original recipe called for 2 cans of cream of chicken soup, I was goign to add a lot more base and water and thicken the whole thing with corn starch, but just wanted to make enough for tonight, so that didn't happen) anyways it was interesting. can't remember if I blogged thsi before, but i made lemon curd at kevin's last week, he's been finding new and exciting ways to use that...most notably as a dip for some xmas sugar cookies he finally made up out of dough he had lying around. dork. anyways I'm celebrating st pattys with a cup of irish coffee (mm irish cream) and a little food tv, good times. who needs bars with random creepy people, I have my laptop and alton brown. hot! Oh and kevin too, he's at his apt tonight but he's good for intermittent chatting. awesome. I think my next culinary experiment will involve the tofu I have in my fridge, its the only proteiny thing i have, besides some yogurt smoothie things...yah I think thats it. protein is overrated. totally. Oh today was our (keri and I) first day at buffalo sport and spine, its a big facility with physiatrists, orthopods, PTs and a little office in the back for meechan. Its nice to be in a medical facility too though, just to kind of have a presence in the office, albeit a small one at this point. He eventually wants us to be observing the other docs as well as the physical therapy, to give us an idea of what goes on in other offices. I learned a lot, even if the most I got done was 4 sudokus and a DAC case. oh well, can't always be super-productive. tomorrow is narrative re-write day, woo! I'm seriously ready to just graduate and start working, I want MOOOOONNNNNEYYYYY I want to get out of this part of the country too, if only for a few years. Travel around a bit, see more then this little corner of the US. I'm thinking northwest, but I'd probably be wise to travel there and visit a bit before I commit to a 1-year associateship. that would be great. anyways, lots of choices, who knows where I'll end up...

hm I hope I didn't need that

my computer had to be re-booted this weekend...so all my old files are gone. I dont think I needed them, most of my photos are on facebook, most of my important documents are on google. Anyways, my computer has a new lease on life! Coming home this morning proved to be more difficult then I thought..I usually get onto 33 via 198, but some car had fallen off an overpass (I got chance to see teh car, it was mangled and pretty gruesome..gross..) and they closed my ramp to get onto 33, so I had to find another way to get home. I managed, but I'm not very familiar with the city enough to expertly find an alternate route for myself. anyways I'm home, I have the buffalo sport and spine outreach starting today, 1-5. It should be fun, dr meechan is a cool guy. Sometimes I think maybe too cool...its nice that he lets us do what we want, but we dont really learn how things are suppossed to be, just the short-cut way. oh well. Hmm what else? Hopefully I passed boards, I think I must have. There was nobody retaking either of the parts..so everybody passed last time I guess. Seneca Falls was pretty...all the geese and shiz were out..I didn't get a chance to visit any wineries, maybe if I give kevin the tour this summer we'll wine taste a bit. sure. and waterfall, def. And eat raw oysters in Ithaca. yum! Anyways I think I'm gonna go back to sleep for a bit and then head off to BSS, I might have to visit my friend the mighty taco beforehand, as they are delicious and a buffalo thing

while I'm back

I forgot I had to put in some jobs I did on the computer, so I'm back, with a few more thoughts. One thing I missed about this place is the geese. There is not a whole lot of wildlife in buff (well deer in our apt complex, but other then that) Its nice. I almost kind of miss the area. almost. trying to find good restaurants is kind of annoying, but I guess you have to give a little to get a little. It can be a very lonely place if you dont have someone to spend your days with. I was very lonely the first year here, nobody really to talk to. Luckily I convinced my sis to come here, and I eventually made some wonderful friends..but I do remember the silence

well well well

here I am...studying for part 3 boards in the good ol' NYCC library. Walking in here brought back many memories...so many times I sat in here on the weekend dreading the tests to come..so many times I sat there thinking to myself...well this is it..I'm gonna be mod next tri, never gonna pass this stupid course...but pass them I did. Like I told keri on the way here...how the eff did we get to 8th tri? They should have failed me like 4 tris ago. Oh well, maybe I'm gonna be a chiropractor afterall. I wanted to go wine tasting today instead of studying, but my conscience wouldn't allow it, plus I dont have anybody to wine taste with, ash is in class, kevin is in buff, keri and jill are studying too. blah. maybe tomorrow will be a good time to hit some of the local favorites. Montezume and Lakewatch are my favorite around here, theres some other good ones around but those are closeby, and usually after a few tastings I'm done anyways so it doesnt matter how many we go to. Springtime is such a time of hope, of possibilities. I remember all the times I thought about the possibilities I had to look forward to. Hope, it turns out, doesn't always end favorably, but it gives you something to hang your hat on, if only for a short while. It's not always the outcome that matters, but the feeling of possibilities that gets you through troubled times. Things are for the best, i am sure of it. anyways, enough reminscing, back to studying.

whoa

I was excited to see everybody today...until I actually saw them. I enjoy the thought of humanity, but when it comes to actual, bona-fide interaction, I need a little more convincing then just being in the same class with peeps. Anyways, it was nice seeing people. Um. In other news, joes pasta garage was slihgtly dissapointing, their service was eeeehh..the food was still delightful (omg eggplant roulades, and their cheesecake awesome!) The way to go is to share a 3-course meal they offer, plenty of food for 2 and its only around 20 bucks. Easy enough to split. Anyways it was nice catching up with my friends, tomorrow is time to stuuuuuuudy! I like not having anything to do tomorrow but find time to look over stuff I probably already know. I think I'm gonna check out the SF library, it looks pretty rad from the outside. I gotta go to campus for a bit though, chris needs to teach me some adjusting stuff. rad. anyways, awesome. physiotherapy was about 25% actual physio, and 75% everything else. I dont know what else I expected from the boards, it kind of seems to be that way in general

oh did I mention

I came into clinic to see some random techie guys (I could tell they were techies cuz they weren't dressed up and looked dorky) fiddling with the network here...they tightened the network settings so I can't use the better version of gmail. stupid html version. Hmm I am excited to see people this weekend..mostly Jill actually, everybody else will be fun to see too, but shes my only really close friend that is far far away. wheee!

stuff

it seems like everybody (or the vast majority) who is taking boards is sooooo stressed out...it just seems silly to me. Granted, I have to admit I was less then cool about the part 1 and part 2, but you just gotta take it in stride. I am more annoyed at having to drive to seneca falls then anything else. Too bad they dont have boards online..you just do it in your pjs at home and then submit. Of course, people would look up answers that way, but then maybe they could just make them harder and allow people to use resources available to them..kind of like real life...go figure. anyways, the air is thick with angst, except its not 'cuz nobody showed up in clinic today. While everybody else spent the evening studying and not really learning anything I was performing a fantastic culinary experiment..I randomly came across a recipe for these portuguese meringue cookies..I ended up making them (they didn't turn out, for a myriad of reasons, we still at them but they were a little crumbly..) anyways I had egg yolks leftover, so I decided to use what kevin had at his place...lemon juice, sugar, egg yolks...lemon curd! Anyways that came out okay, a little too lemony, but still good. Anyways this morning he made french toast, but since he wanted to use the remaining eggs for french toast, soaked the bread in lemon curd..it was interesting to say the least. They would have been good wiht some sort of sweet cream to cut the intense lemon flavor. We ate them, anyways. It is fun to experiment with recipes, even if you have no idea what you are doing. Some of the best dishes came about that way, I think. Anyways I think I'm gonna start studying a bit, right now I'm just looking to pin down modalities, I'll look through ortho exams too (cuz thats what I heard is gonna be the main part of the exam...we'll see how that works out for me..)

whoa

what a difference a day makes..yesterday I felt like crap..today its like a whole new experience. awesome! I'm still tired, but with a new lease on life. sweeeeeeeet

feeling a little...

I have the sinking feeling of being dissapointed in humanity. Its true..when an aquarius gets down on life, she REALLY gets down. I dont know, I just feel like I'm very superfluous in clinic, they just have us sit down and take the soap note, and the doc just kind of does everything...well I shouldn't say that..they let us adjust (just not the area of chief complaint) and we do modalities..it just seems like we dont really do anything. I felt better on rotation, dr Schleicher actually let us manage the patient there, but that was in the ghetto. oh we start another rotation..next week? that should be fun. Anyways, I think I need some cheering up, XY chromosome style. i wonder what kevin is up to tonight..I usually hear from him after he gets out of work, just gotta find my phone. hm. maybe pizza will cheer me up, that usually does the trick. anthony bourdain is on now, eating roast duck in china. that is funnnn

omfg

omfg I just made the best coconut seitan curry ever. it is so good I almost pooed my pants. ok so maybe it didn't quite come to that, but close. kevin has a guitar now, I am jealous! Mine's in maine, I'm gonna bring it up in may...woot

whoa!

I always liked baked beans for breakfast because they were delicious...come to find out its a brittish thing to do..eggs, baked beans, potatoes, toast..all covered with ketchup...mmm. I wonder if kevin got paid today, that would be sweeeeeet! anyways.

whoa

I cant wait for people to be out mowing lawns...someone just started up a snow blower, and for a split second I thought it was a lawn mower, and I could almost smell the freshly-cut grass. mmm

happyness

to find someone that just makes you...happy...is a wonderful thing. niagara falls is beautiful in the winter, I would have brought a camera but it was kind of impromptu, we were looking for a violin store but found one of the most famous waterfalls in the world instead. Not too bad of an afternoon. Oh and we won 2 free coffees from timmy hoe hoes in one afternoon. We tried to order chicken and waffles, but they stopped serving waffles at 2 pm. boo. The chicken was good, the cream of potato soup was not. I need to start studying for boards. At least i'll be studying with a smile on my face :) best weekend ever

cajun cookin'

holy crap, etouffee is the best food ever! Well I dont know about the best food ever, but its pretty tasty. I should be studying, but I'm goofing off with a boy instead. I've got this whole week to review, so I'm not worried. The weekend is for having fun, plus we have all day saturday to study for the exam on sunday. studying rots your brain anyways. Oh yeah I can make souffles now! The ones i made were good, a touch on the overdone side, but a liberal dose of homemade chocolate sauce cured that...a bottle of blueberry wine later and we were in hog heaven. yum! Its so much more fun to spend the day running around buffalo getting ingredients to make food then it us to spend too much money going to a restaurant. I dont know what we're going to try next...for pictures of said food, go to kevin's myspace, he's my number 2. yummmmmmmmmmmo

strange

its strange to come across the online profile of someone who's no longer living. Kind of creepy, how people post 'wow I wish you were still here...' over and over again. People post about recent events, but the recipient isn't there to read the stupid comments that only matter when someone isn't there to recieve them. I can empathize for someone who feels so desperate they want to end their own life, sometimes life just gets too intense to deal with...but you just have to kind of grit your teeth and keep living it, with the hope that tomorrow will be better then today. I dunno, just introspective and stuff

boo

why does poo always seem to fly all at once? I guess it isnt really a matter of everything bad happening at once, more a realization that causes shit to have to be done. bleh basically I just realized I wasn't doing some things right at clinic, and I have to remedy that situation. and it involves thinking and writing up narratives, which is NOT my favorite activity. anyways, I got one narrative/plan/problem list done today, I'm going to do the other on monday, then I should be ready to attempt to clear my cases, which never actually happens...they'er like umm yeah do it like thiiiis...problem is, every clinician likes it differently, so you pretty much just have to figure out what to do with each clinician. bleh. one week to clear a case whatever, I am a rule-breaker. in other news, this weekend is going to be fun! I'm gonna study for a few hours today so i can spend the weekend with kevin, he might be buying furniture and we're having new orleans night tomorrow..I'm gonna try to make souffles, hes gonna make etouffee. Or so he says. I might break out my tokaj, we'll see about that...anyways boards is only a week away! eeeeek

ahhhhh

I hate moon in pisces..I am getting emo about stupid crap that doesn't matter...I can't wait until something a little more earthy or airy..ugh

'in a relationship'

well now. After being single for a loooooooooooooong time, I'm not anymore. What can i say, I just have high standards..I dont give much consideration to little boys, I like MEN. men in TIGHTS. Hah. Anyways I'm happy to have found someone who can handle my wackiness and will give it right back to me. I dunno, things are just good. Thats probably the best thing i could say about it, I could go on and on about it, but I dont have the angst I have had in the past which results in lengthy draamatic blogs. I'll leave it at saying they're good. I'd make a list of why he is awesome, but that is creepy and I'm sure you guys dont want to read stupid mushy stuff like that. so I wont. Hmm what else? Went to the french pub with some peeps from clinic, that was fun. the menu included an item called 'buffalo chicken soup' which is probably just waht it sounds. maybe if i take kevin there sometime I'll try it, but tonight I didnt dare...keri and i have a new fav restaurant..'granny's kitchen' about a mile from our apt towards clinic. They have really great breakfast (although no chicken souvlaki breakfast, which is so awesome I cant even contain myself) anyways the food here is awesome! Ugh I should start studying for boards...thing is, I dont even care. well I would care of i failed, but thats not gonna happen, so I really don't care. ha. anyways, spring is right around the corner!

these are weird

anybody watch sarah silverman's new video? and jimmy kimmel's response? I'm not normally a fan of either one, but their inappropriateness was actually funny this time. check it out on youtube yo

I dont know why, but the strangeness of salad fingers just makes me happy on such a carnal level. the fact that the cartoons are so strange and abstract and dark just kind of makes sense to me..a lot more then reality does. I don't know if that makes me crazy or what. i just like that which cannot be reproduced in real life, I guess. I also like the fact that someone write a wikipedia article on the cartoons...trying to put that into words is a futile activity. anyways, just had to share my life for the effed up

over there

I've been posting on myspace a bit today, ones I'm too lazy to post in both. I dont know, I just felt like doing something old-school. so I did.

weird! slash upbeat

its weird how EVERYBODY is having babies lately...I can count 4 girls that I know who have buns in their proverbial ovens. weird. and I am less emo now. Its such a beautiful day out, weatherbug says its 61 right now!!! I dont have clinic until 2, maybe I'll find somewhere to take a walk, and do so. Sure. I might even break out the SANDALS..whoa.