hot

I was looking online for pumpkin patches/apple farms/good ol' fashioned fall fun in the area, and found one pumpkin patch that offered services for 'weddings/wedding parties' I thought that was kind of interesting, getting hitched in the middle of a pumpkin patch. I dunno, maybe they have a scenic part of the farm that is appropriate for that kind of hubbub, who knows. Anyways just thought that was cool. yo.

teh future

I know things have never not worked out for me, but its a little frustrating to be in this odd limbo position. I dont have a job lined up, which is very frustrating. I have some interviews and stuff, but nothing to hang my hat on. It seems that in every other industry, people look for employees like 6 months before said employees graduate. Not in chiropractic though, I've gotten lots of 'we're looking to fill the position immediately, contact us when you'er graduated..' it is frustrating to say the least. I just want to know where I"m headed, is that so hard? ugh. that being said, I know I'll find a job and be wildly successful, its just the interim, the waiting is what kills you...tick tock tick tock..I dont want to be another doctor's bitch (aka associate) I really want to do my own thing, but that requires getting a loan to buy an existing practice..which means coming up with money for a downpayment. I've asked my parents, they have yet to get back to me, it makes me very anxious. bleh.

gotta love history

so I was just reading some wiki article about a war they had back in the day when they were settling maine. Here is an excerpt I found entertaining...

A year passed when cattle, frightened and some wounded, suddenly ran into the town from their pastures. It was a recognized sign that a Native American attack was imminent, so residents sought refuge. On June 10, 1692, a force of 400 Native Americans and some French troops commanded by La Brognerie marched into Wells, knowing that Converse would be in Storer's garrison. But with a 15 soldier militia and an approximate number of townsfolk, Converse resisted assaults during a 2-3 day siege. The attackers alternated between attacks on the village and the narrow harbor, where Captain Samuel Storer, James Gooch and 14 soldiers, sent as reinforcements, were aboard 2 sloops and a shallop. Native Americans shot flaming arrows onto the boats, but the crews extinguished the fires. The attackers fastened a wall of vertical planks to the back of a cart, then pushed it toward the vessels at low tide. La Brognerie and 26 French and Native Americans huddled behind the shield, but the cart got stuck in mudflats within 50 feet of the nearest boat. When La Brognerie struggled to lift the wheel, he was shot through the head. The remainder ran, some dropping in the hail of bullets. Next they towed downstream a raft of about 18-20 feet square and covered with combustible material, expecting the ebbing tide to carry it ablaze to the boats. But the wind shifted and the raft drifted to the opposite shore.
Running out of ammunition, the attackers retreated, although not before burning the church and a few empty houses, shooting all the cattle they could find, and torturing to death John Diamond, who had been captured at the outset trying to escape the boats for the fort. They left behind some of their dead, including La Brognerie. The victory of so few against so many brought Converse fame and advancement. A granite monument in Storer Park now marks the site of Lieutenant Storer's garrison.

stupid french couldn't take the boats down. OK, let's set the boat on fire! oh. they put the fire out. durrr let's take a wagon with some planks attached and get it during low tide. oh, that's muddy. OK, how about this guys..let's get a raft and float out to them. Oh, we're floating the other way. that sucks. well, let's just shoot these cows and torture this guy, and go find some munchies, I'm hungry. ok.

change is...

very stressful. It seems everything I have had as a safety net has suddenly just kind of dropped off, I'm on a high wire with nothing to catch me, and there's a wind coming up...
I spent a few hours in the office of the chiro that might hire me in the buffalo area. it was chaos, to say the least. he stated himself that 'hes more concerned with getting patients in then with organization..' and it showed. if i were to work with him, i would need to get that place organized, for my own sanity. To his defense, he did say that he's learned that organization is a good thing, he just needs to get some more of it. The office staff was nice, they all called me 'dr hart' which was cute. hah. Theres some other stuff in my life that I guess has caused me stress, stuff I'd rather not mention in a public blog. It all has just kind of snowballed, and is making me a little crazy right about now. it will be better once graduation rolls around and I've got a good job under my belt. This too shall pass, right?

nighttime

I dont know why, but consciousness seems altered in the night. when you're sleeping, or after you awake from sleeping, you just seem to be in a different world. a world where, instead of reality, some weird alternate universe has taken over, and you don't really have control. At least I dont. I have a lot of dreams where something important is happening, but for some reason I can't clearly see what, and therefore can't react to whatever is going on. I guess that's a reflection of real life, a lot of times I feel like an outsider looking in on the happenings of everybody else. I wonder where we really go when we dream. Is it just some altered brain wave pattern, that sends us to places of our brain where we hide our feelings and deepest fears? Or is it an actual location, our consciousness actually GOES somewhere, and we come back when our body tells us we need to wake up. Sometimes I'll wake up at night and continue in that altered state, missing people i shouldn't, thinking things that are not what how I normally perceive the world. I feel like i've been a little depressed lately, it could be the uncertainty of the coming months. I hate change, I like things to just stay the way they are. At the same time though, I like change, I almost crave it. Strange dichotomy. anyways, those are my thoughts for the AM.

oh yeah, my blog

I totally forgot about this thing. hah. I dont have a whole lot going on that I'm gonna talk about in here (I have another blog I have for my friends back home, its good to get some third person perspective sometimes) things are going good at school, done in a few months (!!) Staying in the buffalo area for teh time being, kevin has a good job here, and i think i found one that will (barely) pay the bills. A chiro around here is expanding into the southtowns, and wants an associate to help that situation out. It will be good for me, due to his wanting me to network with area doctors, he works a lot with neurologists for post-op treatment. That should be interesting, I am looking forward to expanding my horizons. We have also been looking at apartments, probably nearby where I live now, which would be halfway between his work and my work, give or take a few minutes on either side. i'm not thrilled at the idea of staying around here, my mom was sad when I told her I was staying here for a while. They definitely miss having their kids around, but there's just not a lot of opportunity for young peeps in maine, especially not computer jobs..there are some in the portland area, but thats still 3 hours away from home. It's also expensive to live there, versus what you can make. There are a lot of problems with the state, but also a lot of good points. People are real there, its not this facade of trying to be what you think others want you to be. I've had conversations before about this with emily, with 'real' mainers (Not transplants from other states) you kind of have to dress down (t-shirts or flannel and jeans)...if you dress up (not necessarily professionally, but if you wear 'sexy clothing') the other mainers wonder what your problem is. I'm a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal, although not those stupid looney toons t-shirts, I always hated those. Anyways, I feel like graduation will be very anti-climatic, I've been to them before, and its just kind of like 'oh.' I have never been a fan of pomp and circumstance, although I do like the song. I also dont like large throngs of annoying people, which ceremonies inevitably are..I liked the BPS graduation, it was a luncheon and they called us one by one and we got our diplomas that way. nice and relaxed, no retarded speeches, although I think nicchi did have to get his two cents in. Oh well, such is the case for diplomats. Kevin and a secret shopper job at a chain restaurant last night, it was kind of gross. The way america eats is so unhealthy, we usually eat a lot of rice and vegetables, this meal kept me up half the night and kind of made me very inflammed-feeling. I think we might skip those jobs next time around, even if it is free food. bleh. oh, and its weird how a lot of people I know had kids this summer. I've heard we're in a mini baby boom, but this is rediculous...anyways. thanks for not reading this, there is no notification email sent out, so everybodys forgotten about my new blog. which is okay, I dont like the pressure of having everybody check what i write as soon as i like it. maybe after this is old news, someone might think to check it, but by that time it will be too late! haha