pain

and still, while the practical side of life feels good at having something that is tangible, something you can hold onto and feel in your hands, there is always more to the story than that. Maybe there really isnt, but for some reason it feels like there is. Long after things are settled, all is said and done...untied feelings linger, feelings impossible to completely do away with. I'm glad that after boards are done I wont have to go back to seneca falls. I just can't deal with it. Moving on and completely getting over a situation are two different things. I wish they weren't. Or maybe it really is the same thing, and I'm just prolonging the inevitable. To truly let go...to just be able to float away without any sentiment or regret, I think is what I need to achieve. I've done it before, I can do it again. its a little trickier this time, for some reason..but I'll do it. Bleh its no use blogging about it, just something I have to will myself to do. I know time is something that has to be considered with this, day by day I feel myself getting a little better control of the situation, but its a long road to self-preservation. I wish I could use his asshole tendencies as emotional leverage to fling him off for good..but that is difficult, as I do the same things. To let go of someone that reminds you so much of yoruself..I think that's what really makes it difficult.