why

I dont know why I do this to myself...alone in my apt, nobody to talk to..I should be studying, and while I am, the inevitable lonliness comes creeping in...kevin has been by my side for the better part of a week and a half...he is a very good detractor, has been since we've met. however, there's always that low-level current of wondering how things might have been different. I dont wish to expand further, I really just wish things were as simple as they should be. There's a reason I try to separate myself as far as possible from the situation, because I just want to have some peace in my life...4 months should have done it, but I'm beginning to think it's hopeless. Part of me really misses the good ol times, before things changed so much. I guess change is good, its not like that was going anywhere. As dumb as situations are sometimes though, you like them they way they are, dumb or not. where's my kevin, I need distractions asap

blogging..

keeps me sane...part of this whole aquarius/virgo thing is the fact that I really can't be deceitful, although I can willfully withhold part of the truth, I can't tell a lie. part of my charm. anyways, blogging always makes me feel better, and while most of the time it doesn't matter a hill of beans to me who sees my blog, there are some things I just have to write to certain groups of people. I have another blog, mostly for old college friends...it kind of completes the blogging circle, stuff I can't post here publicly I'll post friends-only here (if I can, I actually haven't figured out how to do that..) and stuff i can't post friends-only here I'll post on my other blog. great. I signed up for a CSA a few weeks ago, but never got confirmation that they recieved it. maybe I'll email them to make sure they got it. sure.

maine

whee its been a while since I've been able to sit down and do a little brain-dump on the ol' blog..my parents dont have internet anymore, and the neighbors' signal was too weak, so we had an epic journey around the town to findi nternet. we went to a few coffeeshops hoping to have luck, starbucks charges you an arm and a leg, a place we found called joe's java shack advertised free internet, but it was a shitty signal. We finally gave up and went to the library, we didn't realize they had wireless internet though and spent the first day there on their shitty old computers. Which brings me to my beef with the library. The next day we decided to try to find wireless and yes..they had internet...anyways we sat down in an area in the children's section next to some other computers that weren't being used..kevin was on my laptop for a while, and I decided to sit down at one of the unused computers in that section (there were probably 15 computers in the room, none of them being used by anybody) anyways i got halfway through my thank-you email to the chiropractor I visited, and some lady (I assume the librarian or whatever) came over and informed me that if I wanted to use a computer, I had to 'use the ones upstairs'. That pissed me off...normally it makes sense, the ones in the children's section weren't password protected, they want kids to have a chance bla bla..but the computers in the kids section were a LOT better, they had computer screens you could actually see, and were faster. anyways, that disgruntled me a bit. I guess on principle, it makes sense, if they let one adult use the kid computers, then they have to let everybody, and then the kids couldn't get on to learn their ABCs or whatever. it just pissed me off. Anyways we found internet, but I wasn't in a bloggy mood in maine. Speaking of maine, we had an awesome time! We found a great restaurant in bangor, paddy murphys. It is an irish pub-type place, but they have other stuff on the menu too. I had an asian salad the first time we went (the waitress was dissapointed when I ordered it, since kevin had ordered the guinness stew right before me, which excited her to no end) anyways the salad was good, kevins stew was amazing (as reported by him, I dont eat beef) um ash had a sandwich with fries..the fries were awesome, kind of lightly battered and with lots of fun spices...anyways we went again on sunday, I had a turkey pesto sandwich with sweet potato fries (again, not terribly irish, but very good) kevin had fish and chips (all you can eat on sundays! he could only do two servings, but it was a valiant effort) ash had some chicken wrap with sweet potatoes, she and I both got beer as well..I got allagash white, she got blue bear blueberry...maine has a lot of microbreweries, with lots of good beer. Lets see what else did we do? went to acadia twice..the second time we went with my buds emily and scott, went up an epic trail, complete with ladders and rails to climb up this cool ravine that was carved out by a stream we had to walk up to follow the trail..discovered peanut butter and banana sandwiches are ideal trail food, drove down for the day so I could shadow the chiropractor (which was awesome. She uses activator, and watching her work made me think that crap actually does something. I think I'm going to maybe use activator in my practice? Definitely if I work with her) she had a beautiful office, right downtown in a awesome town in southern maine. I can't divulge details, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement, I would say its in one of the nicest areas of the state. Anyways, it would be great if that worked out. I am antsy to graduate and start practicing, only 6ish more months! I'm a little nervous for part 4, I'm not too good with practical exams, but I'm gonna study hard for the practice exam thsi weekend, that will hopefully help me focus my studying a little so i will be good to go for actual exam...eek! anyways I'm all blogged out, kind of hungry, gonna go see what kevin has in his kitchen..ta

*zombie noise*

sf is nice to visit, but only for a short while. I was bored shortly after getting here last night...luckily we're going to where there is entertainment, around the lake for wineries and to ithaca for good ol' fashioned hippy fun! Pictures to follow, maybe..

holy hell

two new patients (one of whom was blind as well as hard of hearing) and one re-eval later, I'm beat...and I can't adjust worth crap, although I did pull a sweet cross-butterfly out of my ass. yikes, I need a vacation as well as adjusting classes. hah.

ok!

So here I am sitting in clinic...everybody else has pretty much left for break, but I'm stuck in NY until saturday waiting for ash, so here I am. I guess those who are still around don't show up in clinic, due to not wanting to see patients. I find that a little weird, sure its work, but isn't that what we're here for? I remember at the beginning of the tri, everybody WANTED PATIENTS SO BADLY..now everybody is avoiding clinic lest they have to see patients. Well I'm happy to see them, that will make me more prepared for when I have to see patients for, y'know..the rest of my career...whatever dudes. I love this profession, I'll take a hit for the team and cover patients, we're here for them..not vica versa...

hm

I should probably tell the 'rents that there will be 3 of us coming back to maine..for some reason, i can't talk about guys with my parents..I just have never been comfortable talking about them with stuff like that...maybe I should get over it someday. maybe.