nighttime

I dont know why, but consciousness seems altered in the night. when you're sleeping, or after you awake from sleeping, you just seem to be in a different world. a world where, instead of reality, some weird alternate universe has taken over, and you don't really have control. At least I dont. I have a lot of dreams where something important is happening, but for some reason I can't clearly see what, and therefore can't react to whatever is going on. I guess that's a reflection of real life, a lot of times I feel like an outsider looking in on the happenings of everybody else. I wonder where we really go when we dream. Is it just some altered brain wave pattern, that sends us to places of our brain where we hide our feelings and deepest fears? Or is it an actual location, our consciousness actually GOES somewhere, and we come back when our body tells us we need to wake up. Sometimes I'll wake up at night and continue in that altered state, missing people i shouldn't, thinking things that are not what how I normally perceive the world. I feel like i've been a little depressed lately, it could be the uncertainty of the coming months. I hate change, I like things to just stay the way they are. At the same time though, I like change, I almost crave it. Strange dichotomy. anyways, those are my thoughts for the AM.