whoops

i have nothing interesting to blog about anymore. being happy does that to you, I guess. we went for a walk in chestnut ridge park today, it was wilderness-y and wonderful. I was concerned at our lack of knowing where the heck we were going, but it was beautiful out enough to keep wandering around until we found the way out. I love the woods, so peaceful and energizing. I always keep forgetting my camera when we go places, I should start remembering. Hm. anyways I've got a frittata in the oven, gonna go check that..

television

being with kevin has been an adjustment..he doesn't have a tv at his place, so I have had to adjust to the lack of constant mediocre entertainment. I think I'm over it now but for a while it was sensory underload. Stumble is a great search tool, it usually provides me with entertainment. We have had stuff to do, he has the complete arrested development series, so we've been watching that (funny shit, I recommend it to anybody and everybody) we have similar interests, cooking music etc etc so that keeps us pretty busy. He's got a cool park right by his place too, so we go there and fool around sometimes (no not like that, thats weird) funny, we always end up going to big lots and target on the weekend. its just our usual routine. go figure. I prefer to be with someone who I can spend a lot of time with, but not in an 'in your face' kind of way. I'm low-maintenance, and I like someone who is the same way. We had crepes this morning, they were awesome. Asparagus and halloumi cheese...yum...oh made a few sweet ones as well, although I have to say the savory ones had a certain zing to them. They would have been better with some sort of hollandaise sauce, but were good as they were. anyways, I should jump in the shower, wheeeeeee. Oh he has a blog, I recommend it for further reading, he is a good blogger. He responded to my 'real people' blog, you can get to it from there..

nice

its nice to have found someone who likes so many of the same interests I do...such that i can pretty much just be myself, and not have to change what i do. I just do it with him around. awesome. the trimester is almost ever, I need to have EXTREEEME fun over april break, as it will probably my last break for a very long time. I have the random desire to live in a place where one can grow lemon trees, but maybe I'll just have to live with a green house with which to grow one's own lemons indoors. or something.

on occasion

every once in a while, an 'aha' moment hits you. things are visible in a new light, never (hopefully) to be the same. I had extremely vivid dreams last night, and I think I figured out a lot of things...I know, strange to have revelations in one sleep. I actually think thats why we dream, to kind of sum up everything that happened in our mind, and make sense out of it. Sometimes dreams don't make sense, maybe thats our brain's interpretation of the days events. Often non-sensical, but they are what they are. Anyways, last night my brain was summarizing my time in seneca falls. That is good, summarizing means moving on. What a strange time. I was looking at pictures on facebook last night...people hanging out through the tris, some things I was at (halloween parties) other I was not (random wine tours, etc.) I saw some pics of the 3rd tri coat-burning party, man that lake is beautiful. Not enough to get me to stay around the area, but it was beautiful. Anyways, I think I enjoy events more after the fact, thinking about what happened, then I do at the actual location. I'm usually not very 'into' events as they occur, I prefer to sit back and watch..and then will think about them later on, and enjoy them from afar. Anyways, things are a little more sorted for me now, which is a good thing.

usually dont..

I usually dont post stuff like this, but I liked it. so here we go.

21 Suggestions for Success

By H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even if it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

omfg

kevin made an orange meringue pie...it was delicious! My favorite kind of pie is lemon meringue, but this one is a serious contender. the recipe needs a bit of tweaking, maybe a orange-flavored gram cracker crust, or a thinner crust of some sort, and it needed more orangey filling, and it would have been outta this world! It was delicious as it was though, I caught maself a pie-making fool. I think he mentioned making a blueberry meringue pie in honor of my homeland, I am excited to see how it turns out..

real people

So strange to realize the fact that some people just...arent...real. I mean they exist and live, but as far as being actual living breathing human beings, it just seems like there are empty shells walking along..no personality, noone to really care about, they just exist for the sake of existing. I wonder how people get to be that way. I remember when I was young, I watched some scary cartoon movie. Or it could have been a dream I had once, or maybe a scary movie that I subsequently had a dream about. anyways, at one point in this movie/dream/both, I remember people turning into stone and become part of a wall, because of some evil force or something..and I think these individuals are kind of like that. they have turned to stone because of something in their life that has negatively impacted their reality. I dunno, maybe they think they're living for real, but I think its not exactly like that. Anyways, just a random thought

woo

it is deceptively sunny out, although even the sunshine is better then the doldrums of winter. Its 31 right now..I guess it is getting warmer, it used to be 31 as the daily high...spring is acomin! Kevin and i both agree the nicest part of the year is those few days when the trees sprout their leaves/flowers, it only lasts for a day or two, but its absolutely magical, kind of like a rebirth of the earth. I can't wait! I also can't wait for break, he might be coming back to maine with us...thats a big 'well see', depends on a few things...anyways, I have some shredded wheat in the kitchen with my name on it. I also discovered this thing called 'stumble' its kind of like pandora for websites. It gives you a random website based on your interests. It's only given me a few stupid sites, most of them have been great! I watched a video last night of the survivorman and his family biulding a house 'off the grid'...his wife was the most boring person ever...but it was interesting despite that. anyways

wtf!

Stupid easter shopping hours..or lack thereof..I just want to spend some quality time (or time at least) with my li'l sis doing what we do best...stupid xmas tree shop in rochester is CLOSED on account of silly holidays. lame. Oh well, red robin is still open, and they are delicious. red robin, yummmmm

whoa

last night we had the most...interesting...meal ever. We had gone to wegmans cuz kevin had to buy groceries...just random groceries, sans list..anyways after much mulling about wegmans (its as much his pasttime as it is mine..if you ever need to find me you'll usually catch me in weggies) he bought a decent load of groceries..and ended up making a greek spinach pie complete with haloumi (which the artichoke free sample girl commented on) and some fried calamari. I had a bit of an upset stomach over some falafel gone wrong...so it was quite interesting, gastrointestinally speaking..the pie was very good, as was the calamari, it was just not exactly something you would automatically think to put together. Anyways this morning was much more...normal...buckwheat pancakes (with REAL maple syrup, my new englander ways are getting the best of him) scrambled eggs and bananana. yum. anyways I think we're going to go cause trouble in the park, so if you see us on the news, thats why

whoa

in class this morning (most boring class ever, there's really no controversy surrounding a marketing class) the token d-bag of depew clinic (who also happens to be in keri and my presentation group) started arguing with the professor about philosophy and how he wouldn't talk to doctors about actually curing, but about curing the 'subluxation'...which a lot of chiropractors think is an out-of-date paradigm. Anyways he wouldn't stop, and he made no sense..it went on for like 10 minutes and he was very angry. Roid rage, as keri said. anyways, it made for an interesting morning...weird. I dont want him in my profession, he will bring us down

whoa

I noticed today that I'm slowly become canadian...I kind of say 'aboot' and other canadian things. Its weird, I guess maine really is kind of canadian. weird.

whoa

what a difference in getting adjusted by students vs an adjustment from a real chiropractor...meechan showed us some adjusting yesterday and keri and I both got the work-up. my neck is like new again, weird how chiropractic actually works. He inspired me to get my speeder out and I started building up my cervical pull skillz. It was fun. I've got to work on my kick too for lumbars, it is pretty weak right now. Oh well, 8ish more months before I'm a doc, so I have time to work on it. I dont do lumbars here anyways, cuz thats the main chief complaint around here..which means the docs usually take care of it. Not usually, they do. I did some lumbars in lighthouse, but that was still a little hit-or-miss...yup. anyways, I have a new patient at noon that I am awaiting the arrival of, I am not a good liar and actually told dr cote how many new patients I have (or dont have) so he gave the pt to me. awesome. Oh well, I'm gonna be doing this for the next 80 years, so I'd better get good now rather then later..

one more reason buffalo kicks a$$

keri and I needed some fun after a long day of bleh...so we went to dave and busters for dinner..they have a 15.99 special where you get dinner and 10 dollars worth of tokens for their games...anyways we had a blast! It was happy hour, so I got a 2.50 house margarita (wheee) as well as a billion tickets in the games (well more like 670) so I ended up getting a giant 'dave and busters' pen, a shot glass, and a ring pop to relive my childhood. anyways, it was awesome! Ilovebuffalo

aw

today is the first official registration day we dont have the day off. its sad. Although keri and i are at BSS, which isn't a lot of work, its still sad. We signed up for electives last night, even though I have all my credits..and then some..I still want to take classes included in my tuition while i can. Anyways I'm excited, I finally get to take performing arts medicine, I had been wanting to take that since I saw it was offered..and hillenbutt's new yoga in a chiropractic setting class, that should be fun!! And SOT, keri said it was worth taking. I'll take SOT II in the fall and that will be that

soup?

I made buffalo chicken soup today...well sort of. I didn't have chicken so I just used chicken base and added frank's to add spice..sauteed onions and mushrooms first to get a good flava, then put everything else in. Added some rice and some parmesan peppercorn dressing (the closest i had to blue cheese) anyways it was decent, a little weird-tasting (the original recipe called for 2 cans of cream of chicken soup, I was goign to add a lot more base and water and thicken the whole thing with corn starch, but just wanted to make enough for tonight, so that didn't happen) anyways it was interesting. can't remember if I blogged thsi before, but i made lemon curd at kevin's last week, he's been finding new and exciting ways to use that...most notably as a dip for some xmas sugar cookies he finally made up out of dough he had lying around. dork. anyways I'm celebrating st pattys with a cup of irish coffee (mm irish cream) and a little food tv, good times. who needs bars with random creepy people, I have my laptop and alton brown. hot! Oh and kevin too, he's at his apt tonight but he's good for intermittent chatting. awesome. I think my next culinary experiment will involve the tofu I have in my fridge, its the only proteiny thing i have, besides some yogurt smoothie things...yah I think thats it. protein is overrated. totally. Oh today was our (keri and I) first day at buffalo sport and spine, its a big facility with physiatrists, orthopods, PTs and a little office in the back for meechan. Its nice to be in a medical facility too though, just to kind of have a presence in the office, albeit a small one at this point. He eventually wants us to be observing the other docs as well as the physical therapy, to give us an idea of what goes on in other offices. I learned a lot, even if the most I got done was 4 sudokus and a DAC case. oh well, can't always be super-productive. tomorrow is narrative re-write day, woo! I'm seriously ready to just graduate and start working, I want MOOOOONNNNNEYYYYY I want to get out of this part of the country too, if only for a few years. Travel around a bit, see more then this little corner of the US. I'm thinking northwest, but I'd probably be wise to travel there and visit a bit before I commit to a 1-year associateship. that would be great. anyways, lots of choices, who knows where I'll end up...

hm I hope I didn't need that

my computer had to be re-booted this weekend...so all my old files are gone. I dont think I needed them, most of my photos are on facebook, most of my important documents are on google. Anyways, my computer has a new lease on life! Coming home this morning proved to be more difficult then I thought..I usually get onto 33 via 198, but some car had fallen off an overpass (I got chance to see teh car, it was mangled and pretty gruesome..gross..) and they closed my ramp to get onto 33, so I had to find another way to get home. I managed, but I'm not very familiar with the city enough to expertly find an alternate route for myself. anyways I'm home, I have the buffalo sport and spine outreach starting today, 1-5. It should be fun, dr meechan is a cool guy. Sometimes I think maybe too cool...its nice that he lets us do what we want, but we dont really learn how things are suppossed to be, just the short-cut way. oh well. Hmm what else? Hopefully I passed boards, I think I must have. There was nobody retaking either of the parts..so everybody passed last time I guess. Seneca Falls was pretty...all the geese and shiz were out..I didn't get a chance to visit any wineries, maybe if I give kevin the tour this summer we'll wine taste a bit. sure. and waterfall, def. And eat raw oysters in Ithaca. yum! Anyways I think I'm gonna go back to sleep for a bit and then head off to BSS, I might have to visit my friend the mighty taco beforehand, as they are delicious and a buffalo thing

while I'm back

I forgot I had to put in some jobs I did on the computer, so I'm back, with a few more thoughts. One thing I missed about this place is the geese. There is not a whole lot of wildlife in buff (well deer in our apt complex, but other then that) Its nice. I almost kind of miss the area. almost. trying to find good restaurants is kind of annoying, but I guess you have to give a little to get a little. It can be a very lonely place if you dont have someone to spend your days with. I was very lonely the first year here, nobody really to talk to. Luckily I convinced my sis to come here, and I eventually made some wonderful friends..but I do remember the silence

well well well

here I am...studying for part 3 boards in the good ol' NYCC library. Walking in here brought back many memories...so many times I sat in here on the weekend dreading the tests to come..so many times I sat there thinking to myself...well this is it..I'm gonna be mod next tri, never gonna pass this stupid course...but pass them I did. Like I told keri on the way here...how the eff did we get to 8th tri? They should have failed me like 4 tris ago. Oh well, maybe I'm gonna be a chiropractor afterall. I wanted to go wine tasting today instead of studying, but my conscience wouldn't allow it, plus I dont have anybody to wine taste with, ash is in class, kevin is in buff, keri and jill are studying too. blah. maybe tomorrow will be a good time to hit some of the local favorites. Montezume and Lakewatch are my favorite around here, theres some other good ones around but those are closeby, and usually after a few tastings I'm done anyways so it doesnt matter how many we go to. Springtime is such a time of hope, of possibilities. I remember all the times I thought about the possibilities I had to look forward to. Hope, it turns out, doesn't always end favorably, but it gives you something to hang your hat on, if only for a short while. It's not always the outcome that matters, but the feeling of possibilities that gets you through troubled times. Things are for the best, i am sure of it. anyways, enough reminscing, back to studying.

whoa

I was excited to see everybody today...until I actually saw them. I enjoy the thought of humanity, but when it comes to actual, bona-fide interaction, I need a little more convincing then just being in the same class with peeps. Anyways, it was nice seeing people. Um. In other news, joes pasta garage was slihgtly dissapointing, their service was eeeehh..the food was still delightful (omg eggplant roulades, and their cheesecake awesome!) The way to go is to share a 3-course meal they offer, plenty of food for 2 and its only around 20 bucks. Easy enough to split. Anyways it was nice catching up with my friends, tomorrow is time to stuuuuuuudy! I like not having anything to do tomorrow but find time to look over stuff I probably already know. I think I'm gonna check out the SF library, it looks pretty rad from the outside. I gotta go to campus for a bit though, chris needs to teach me some adjusting stuff. rad. anyways, awesome. physiotherapy was about 25% actual physio, and 75% everything else. I dont know what else I expected from the boards, it kind of seems to be that way in general

oh did I mention

I came into clinic to see some random techie guys (I could tell they were techies cuz they weren't dressed up and looked dorky) fiddling with the network here...they tightened the network settings so I can't use the better version of gmail. stupid html version. Hmm I am excited to see people this weekend..mostly Jill actually, everybody else will be fun to see too, but shes my only really close friend that is far far away. wheee!

stuff

it seems like everybody (or the vast majority) who is taking boards is sooooo stressed out...it just seems silly to me. Granted, I have to admit I was less then cool about the part 1 and part 2, but you just gotta take it in stride. I am more annoyed at having to drive to seneca falls then anything else. Too bad they dont have boards online..you just do it in your pjs at home and then submit. Of course, people would look up answers that way, but then maybe they could just make them harder and allow people to use resources available to them..kind of like real life...go figure. anyways, the air is thick with angst, except its not 'cuz nobody showed up in clinic today. While everybody else spent the evening studying and not really learning anything I was performing a fantastic culinary experiment..I randomly came across a recipe for these portuguese meringue cookies..I ended up making them (they didn't turn out, for a myriad of reasons, we still at them but they were a little crumbly..) anyways I had egg yolks leftover, so I decided to use what kevin had at his place...lemon juice, sugar, egg yolks...lemon curd! Anyways that came out okay, a little too lemony, but still good. Anyways this morning he made french toast, but since he wanted to use the remaining eggs for french toast, soaked the bread in lemon curd..it was interesting to say the least. They would have been good wiht some sort of sweet cream to cut the intense lemon flavor. We ate them, anyways. It is fun to experiment with recipes, even if you have no idea what you are doing. Some of the best dishes came about that way, I think. Anyways I think I'm gonna start studying a bit, right now I'm just looking to pin down modalities, I'll look through ortho exams too (cuz thats what I heard is gonna be the main part of the exam...we'll see how that works out for me..)

whoa

what a difference a day makes..yesterday I felt like crap..today its like a whole new experience. awesome! I'm still tired, but with a new lease on life. sweeeeeeeet

feeling a little...

I have the sinking feeling of being dissapointed in humanity. Its true..when an aquarius gets down on life, she REALLY gets down. I dont know, I just feel like I'm very superfluous in clinic, they just have us sit down and take the soap note, and the doc just kind of does everything...well I shouldn't say that..they let us adjust (just not the area of chief complaint) and we do modalities..it just seems like we dont really do anything. I felt better on rotation, dr Schleicher actually let us manage the patient there, but that was in the ghetto. oh we start another rotation..next week? that should be fun. Anyways, I think I need some cheering up, XY chromosome style. i wonder what kevin is up to tonight..I usually hear from him after he gets out of work, just gotta find my phone. hm. maybe pizza will cheer me up, that usually does the trick. anthony bourdain is on now, eating roast duck in china. that is funnnn

omfg

omfg I just made the best coconut seitan curry ever. it is so good I almost pooed my pants. ok so maybe it didn't quite come to that, but close. kevin has a guitar now, I am jealous! Mine's in maine, I'm gonna bring it up in may...woot

whoa!

I always liked baked beans for breakfast because they were delicious...come to find out its a brittish thing to do..eggs, baked beans, potatoes, toast..all covered with ketchup...mmm. I wonder if kevin got paid today, that would be sweeeeeet! anyways.

whoa

I cant wait for people to be out mowing lawns...someone just started up a snow blower, and for a split second I thought it was a lawn mower, and I could almost smell the freshly-cut grass. mmm

happyness

to find someone that just makes you...happy...is a wonderful thing. niagara falls is beautiful in the winter, I would have brought a camera but it was kind of impromptu, we were looking for a violin store but found one of the most famous waterfalls in the world instead. Not too bad of an afternoon. Oh and we won 2 free coffees from timmy hoe hoes in one afternoon. We tried to order chicken and waffles, but they stopped serving waffles at 2 pm. boo. The chicken was good, the cream of potato soup was not. I need to start studying for boards. At least i'll be studying with a smile on my face :) best weekend ever

cajun cookin'

holy crap, etouffee is the best food ever! Well I dont know about the best food ever, but its pretty tasty. I should be studying, but I'm goofing off with a boy instead. I've got this whole week to review, so I'm not worried. The weekend is for having fun, plus we have all day saturday to study for the exam on sunday. studying rots your brain anyways. Oh yeah I can make souffles now! The ones i made were good, a touch on the overdone side, but a liberal dose of homemade chocolate sauce cured that...a bottle of blueberry wine later and we were in hog heaven. yum! Its so much more fun to spend the day running around buffalo getting ingredients to make food then it us to spend too much money going to a restaurant. I dont know what we're going to try next...for pictures of said food, go to kevin's myspace, he's my number 2. yummmmmmmmmmmo

strange

its strange to come across the online profile of someone who's no longer living. Kind of creepy, how people post 'wow I wish you were still here...' over and over again. People post about recent events, but the recipient isn't there to read the stupid comments that only matter when someone isn't there to recieve them. I can empathize for someone who feels so desperate they want to end their own life, sometimes life just gets too intense to deal with...but you just have to kind of grit your teeth and keep living it, with the hope that tomorrow will be better then today. I dunno, just introspective and stuff

boo

why does poo always seem to fly all at once? I guess it isnt really a matter of everything bad happening at once, more a realization that causes shit to have to be done. bleh basically I just realized I wasn't doing some things right at clinic, and I have to remedy that situation. and it involves thinking and writing up narratives, which is NOT my favorite activity. anyways, I got one narrative/plan/problem list done today, I'm going to do the other on monday, then I should be ready to attempt to clear my cases, which never actually happens...they'er like umm yeah do it like thiiiis...problem is, every clinician likes it differently, so you pretty much just have to figure out what to do with each clinician. bleh. one week to clear a case whatever, I am a rule-breaker. in other news, this weekend is going to be fun! I'm gonna study for a few hours today so i can spend the weekend with kevin, he might be buying furniture and we're having new orleans night tomorrow..I'm gonna try to make souffles, hes gonna make etouffee. Or so he says. I might break out my tokaj, we'll see about that...anyways boards is only a week away! eeeeek

ahhhhh

I hate moon in pisces..I am getting emo about stupid crap that doesn't matter...I can't wait until something a little more earthy or airy..ugh

'in a relationship'

well now. After being single for a loooooooooooooong time, I'm not anymore. What can i say, I just have high standards..I dont give much consideration to little boys, I like MEN. men in TIGHTS. Hah. Anyways I'm happy to have found someone who can handle my wackiness and will give it right back to me. I dunno, things are just good. Thats probably the best thing i could say about it, I could go on and on about it, but I dont have the angst I have had in the past which results in lengthy draamatic blogs. I'll leave it at saying they're good. I'd make a list of why he is awesome, but that is creepy and I'm sure you guys dont want to read stupid mushy stuff like that. so I wont. Hmm what else? Went to the french pub with some peeps from clinic, that was fun. the menu included an item called 'buffalo chicken soup' which is probably just waht it sounds. maybe if i take kevin there sometime I'll try it, but tonight I didnt dare...keri and i have a new fav restaurant..'granny's kitchen' about a mile from our apt towards clinic. They have really great breakfast (although no chicken souvlaki breakfast, which is so awesome I cant even contain myself) anyways the food here is awesome! Ugh I should start studying for boards...thing is, I dont even care. well I would care of i failed, but thats not gonna happen, so I really don't care. ha. anyways, spring is right around the corner!

these are weird

anybody watch sarah silverman's new video? and jimmy kimmel's response? I'm not normally a fan of either one, but their inappropriateness was actually funny this time. check it out on youtube yo

I dont know why, but the strangeness of salad fingers just makes me happy on such a carnal level. the fact that the cartoons are so strange and abstract and dark just kind of makes sense to me..a lot more then reality does. I don't know if that makes me crazy or what. i just like that which cannot be reproduced in real life, I guess. I also like the fact that someone write a wikipedia article on the cartoons...trying to put that into words is a futile activity. anyways, just had to share my life for the effed up

over there

I've been posting on myspace a bit today, ones I'm too lazy to post in both. I dont know, I just felt like doing something old-school. so I did.

weird! slash upbeat

its weird how EVERYBODY is having babies lately...I can count 4 girls that I know who have buns in their proverbial ovens. weird. and I am less emo now. Its such a beautiful day out, weatherbug says its 61 right now!!! I dont have clinic until 2, maybe I'll find somewhere to take a walk, and do so. Sure. I might even break out the SANDALS..whoa.

pain

and still, while the practical side of life feels good at having something that is tangible, something you can hold onto and feel in your hands, there is always more to the story than that. Maybe there really isnt, but for some reason it feels like there is. Long after things are settled, all is said and done...untied feelings linger, feelings impossible to completely do away with. I'm glad that after boards are done I wont have to go back to seneca falls. I just can't deal with it. Moving on and completely getting over a situation are two different things. I wish they weren't. Or maybe it really is the same thing, and I'm just prolonging the inevitable. To truly let go...to just be able to float away without any sentiment or regret, I think is what I need to achieve. I've done it before, I can do it again. its a little trickier this time, for some reason..but I'll do it. Bleh its no use blogging about it, just something I have to will myself to do. I know time is something that has to be considered with this, day by day I feel myself getting a little better control of the situation, but its a long road to self-preservation. I wish I could use his asshole tendencies as emotional leverage to fling him off for good..but that is difficult, as I do the same things. To let go of someone that reminds you so much of yoruself..I think that's what really makes it difficult.

reasons why

I think I've figured out a few things this weekend. not about this weekend, about life in general. I do a lot of thinking about things that aren't happening right then..stuff in the past, or stuff in the future. Anyways, I've realize that whenever I tried to do something to make things happen, it never turned out as planned. As well thought-out and good-intentioned something seemed to be, there are too many variables to make a plan go off as well as one planned. Like me being in buffalo, for instance. I originally had wanted to stay in SF, but I thought someone would be coming out here to be closer to home...so I chose to come out here. Don't ask me why I do these things, they just seem to be be best thing to do at the time. Of course...he's not coming out here. And things have changed. I've stopped waiting around, there's no sense in it. I'm a practical person deep down, although also sentimental, which gets in the way of being practical. Anyways, here I am. Buffalo. All is not lost, I've had a lot of fun, met a great guy who appreciates me for what I am, which is all i've ever wanted...someone I can have a conversation with and just co-exist in harmony. No drama, no dramatic episodes of insanity...and I think things happen for a reason, regardless of if the intent of the decision was lost somewhere. So, I've decided the only way to live is to just look out for yourself and others who present themselves in your life. You can't force someone to be who they are not, and that's that. Maybe I'll co-post in myspace, that might be cool. sure.

when

when things are wrong, they are wrong. however, the reverse is true. when they're right, they're right. I believe the latter to be the case right now, more so then I have felt in a long time. I had to come back here to prove it to myself, and prove it I did. Garcia's tonight with the delongs! and kevin is coming from his mom's house to join us! I'm so excited I could explode. Well maybe I won't explode, I'm just happy he's going to be going to dinner with us tongiht. and that he didn't get paid yesterday, so I get to go pick out furniture with him for his new place! Its like my most favorite thing to do...I think I'm a home decorator in disguise, on the outside one might think I dont care about such superfluous things, but a beautiful house definitely makes the difference to one's happiness. anyways its gonna be awesome! oh yeah, dhb told us to be back to class tomorrow at 9 am, so I can sleep in a bit. that is awesome as well! and that I get to go back to buffalo tomorrow! yay! ok too cheery, I'm takin a nap before din din. sweet.